Failed presidential candidate and "America's mayor" Rudy Giuliani has been shuffling around New York to shuck up support for a potential Gubernatorial run come 2010, but should really reconsider. Because, honestly, his dreams will likely be squashed. Thus, a warning....

Gov. Paterson was seen partying at the Taj Lounge in Chelsea on Wednesday night. Is this going to turn into a campaign issue this fall? Probably not, unfortunately. When the Post's he Fred Dicker asked Andrew Cuomo about the governor's night on the town on the radio this morning, Cuomo resisted the urge to take a shot at him: "The way I heard it, you know, what the governor was doing was totally appropriate. He was at a party. He was celebrating somebody's birthday... He's come to birthday celebrations for me... From the facts that I heard, I thought it was totally appropriate." [NYDN]

New York's bad-ass attorney general, Andrew Cuomo, has been looking into compensation on Wall Street for, like, nine months now. And now the fruits of his labor have been unveiled for all to see! Cuomo released a report today called "No Rhyme or Reason: The 'Heads I Win, Tails You Lose' Bank Bonus Culture," in which he says—surprise!—big banks don't usually tie annual compensation to performance, and still pay out massive bonuses even in years when they don't record a profit. How surprising! (It's a good thing we don't tie the state tax rate to the performance of elected officials, too.) Unfortunately, Cuomo's 22-page report doesn't include the names of these Wall Streeters who are raking it in, but he does share a few facts you may find interesting.

• The toughest reservations in town are at Frank Pellegrino's Rao's in Harlem and David Chang's Momofuku Ko, in case you're keeping track. [GS]
• Big clubs and bottle service are out and cheap, dingy dive bars are in, according to the Times, pointing out that Marquee's revenues are down 22 percent so far this year. Possible evidence to the contrary: "table service" at Marquee's new sister spot, Avenue, will run you a minimum of $350. [NYT]
• Related: Marquee appears to be NYC's "most fined" nightspot. It's handed over $100,000 to the State Liquor Authority over the past year alone. [NYP]
• New York's Eat Cheap issue is out. A highlight: Robin Raisfeld and Rob Patronite's "handbook" to the Neapolitan pizza "revolution." [NYM, NYM]
• Restaurants that recently opened, or will be opening soon. [Eater]
• A roundup of New York's "82 most notable burgers." [GS]
• The Canadian donut chain Tim Hortons landed in Manhattan today. [AMNY]

Was the absurd stalemate in Albany not quite enough drama for you? Great, because more of it is coming your way: "In a shocking and legally questionable effort to end the month-old Senate stalemate, Governor Paterson is considering naming a lieutenant governor today during a 5 p.m. televised address, sources said. Such an appointment would defy the advice of the state's attorney general and decades of accepted legal wisdom that a vacancy in the office of lieutenant governor could not be filled until the next statewide election." [NYP]

A "person familiar with the investigation" into Bernie Madoff has tells the AP that the government is pursuing charges against 10 more people who allegedly played a role in carrying out the biggest Ponzi scheme ever. Who are they? No names were mentioned, unfortunately. But if one of the people on the list is hedge fund manager Ezra Merkin, that won't be the only piece of bad news he receives this week. Attorney General Andrew Cuomo unveiled a deal this morning to sell off a collection of Merkin's Rothko paintings and Giacometti sculptures, items that will go to repay people who lost money as part of the scheme. An anonymous buyer has already stepped up and agreed to pay $310 million for the works, and when various liens, commissions and legal fees are subtracted, an estimated $191 million will eventually be left over for Madoff's victims. What will Merkin do with the bare walls of his mammoth apartment at 740 Park? Well, this painting is still for sale, as far as we know, and would be rather fitting, wouldn't it? [AP, WSJ]

• Just in case you've missed the excitement on TV, Ben Bernanke appeared on Capitol Hill today to testify about Bank of America's acquisition of Merrill Lynch. Lawmakers grilled him, Bernanke played defense: quality entertainment as usual! [NYT, WSJ]
• Financier Allen Stanford appeared in court today and pleaded not guilty to charges he swindled investors out of $7 billion. [WSJ]
• The job market hasn't improved: The number of Americans filing jobless claims rose last week to the highest level in more than a month. [CNN]
• Good news! AIG is reducing its debt with the Fed by $25 billion. [NYT]
• Andrew Cuomo is recusing himself from the investigation into the hedge fund that handed his finances and is now tied to Cuomo's kickback query. [BN]

• There's a shortage of banking industry CEOs—decent ones, at least—which explains why Vikram Pandit is still in charge at Citigroup and Ken Lewis is still running the show at Bank of America. "The best players won't risk their careers going to a troubled enterprise," explains one recruiting expert. [WSJ]
• Andrew Cuomo has been investigating pension fund corruption for the past few months. Now his own ties to just such an entity are raising questions. [BN]
• Wanna invest in a hedge fund? You're in luck. A number of them are looking to diversify their investor bases and are now targeting the middle class. [NYP]
• Stocks rose this morning ahead of a report by the Fed this afternoon. [CNN]
• Good news for JPMorgan Chase: It's "the world's strongest bank." [DB]
• Good news for Barclays: Its name will grace a Brooklyn subway station. [NYT]
• Jeffry Picower was once considered one of Bernie Madoff's victims. Not so much any longer, now that it appears he withdrew as much as $5 billion from his various Madoff accounts between 1995 and 2008. [ProPublica]

Al Gore was at the 92nd St. Y earlier this week, making jokes about drug addicts. Meanwhile, as of this morning, imprisoned Current.TV journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee - Gore's employees - are facing further hearings in North Korea.

Ezra Merkin, the money manager who plowed more than $2.4 billion of his clients' cash into Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, will now need to find a new occupation to keep him busy. He's agreed to turn over his three hedge funds to a liquidator at the "request" of Andrew Cuomo. As you may recall, the attorney general filed suit against the disgraced financier last month; Merkin is also contending with suits by about half a dozen of his investors, including Daily News publisher Mort Zuckerman, who lost $15 million, and NYU, which lost $24 million in Merkin's Ariel hedge fund. On a more positive note, Merkin remains the frontrunner to take over as president of the Fifth Avenue Synagogue when the board convenes tomorrow! And if he decides to leave finance and go into journalism, he has a fantastic connection to help him get a foot in the door. Plus the Post has a new photo of him wearing a super-cool hat, so he's got that going for him, too, which is nice. [NYT]

• The Carlyle Group will pay $20 million to end an investigation by Andrew Cuomo into its dealings with pensions and placement agents. [NYT, WSJ]
• Two attorneys at the SEC are under investigation for insider trading. [CBS]
• Hedge fund manager Jim Simons is facing tough questions from angry investors who put money into one of Simons' under-performing funds. [WSJ]
• Barclays is in talks to sell its Barclays Global Investors. Blackrock and Bank of New York Mellon are two of the bidders. [BN, Reuters]
• Six major insurance companies are getting a bailout. [BN, NYT]

• Bank of America sold off a $7.3 billion stake in China Construction Bank as it seeks to raise cash. Good news: only $26.6 billion to go! [DB]
• Andrew Cuomo is expected to announce that Hank Morris has pleaded guilty in the pension fund probe and will be cooperating with the investigation. [WSJ]
• Citigroup has lent out the same amount it's taken from Washington ($45 billion), a sign that Vikram may have a heart, after all. [AP, Dealbreaker]
• AIG's Ed Liddy will defend his company's rep in front of a Congressional panel today. At the very least, he can report the busted insurance giant is $1.2 billion richer now that it's sold off its Tokyo headquarters. [WSJ, DB]

Just when you thought Gov. David Paterson couldn't be any less popular than he already is, he goes and surprises us yet again! A new Marist poll finds that just 19 percent of voters approve of the job the governor has been doing, a seven-point drop compared to his approval numbers last month. Even worse: Andrew Cuomo, who may go up against Paterson in the Democratic gubernatorial primary next year, is the state's most popular politician with 70 percent of the public saying he's doing a "good" or "excellent" job as attorney general. To Paterson's credit, about half the people polled said he was performing nicely when it came to combating the whole swine flu thing. But since few people could actually explain what he was doing to prevent the epidemic from spreading, we're guessing it may not be the most comforting consolation prize. [NYDN]

Andrew Cuomo revealed this morning that his office has issued more than 100 subpoenas as he ramps up the investigation into possible kickbacks paid to political figures to obtain pension fund business. Unfortunately, he's still playing coy when it comes to giving up any specifics. He refused to list any of the firms that received subpoenas today. Yesterday, when a reporter asked him if car czar Steve Rattner would eventually be charged for his role in the unfolding scandal—five other people have been indicted thus far—he said to "stay tuned." In other words, put a new bag of popcorn in the microwave and get comfy. He's going to be here for awhile. [NYT, AP]

• After a two-month wait, the nation's 19 largest banks will start to hear today how they did on those stress tests conducted by Washington regulators. [NYT]
• If the test indicates Citigroup will need more money to stay afloat, Vikram Pandit can probably kiss his job as the bank's CEO goodbye. [NYP]
• Andrew Cuomo is urging federal regulators to investigate allegations that Hank Paulson and Ben Bernanke applied pressure to Bank of America chief Ken Lewis to go ahead with the acquisition of Merrill Lynch. [WSJ, NYT, CNN]
• Chrysler is preparing to file for Chapter 11 as soon as next week. [WSJ]

• Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis testified under oath that Fed chairman Ben Bernanke and former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson pressured him to keep quiet about BofA's plans to buy Merrill Lynch. [WSJ, CNN]
• Credit Suisse reported a profit of $1.7 billion for the first quarter. [BN]
• Executives from a bunch of credit card companies will face off against President Obama today over possible limits on fees and interest rates. [BN]

• Stocks are down in early trading today as investors brace for disappointing earnings as well as signs the recession is getting worse. [WSJ, BN]
• Bank of America reported first quarter profits totaled $4.2 billion and revenues almost doubled, not that any of that will do much to soothe angry investors, who are pushing for a change in management. [NYT, WSJ, [NYT]
• Citigroup's first quarter profit of $1.6 billion last week? That may have been the product of creative accounting more than anything else. [NYT]

• UBS is cutting another 7,500 jobs after posting a $1.8 billion quarterly loss and clients pulled more than $20 billion out of the firm. [BN, NYT]
• Andrew Cuomo strikes again: Carlyle Group is now under investigation by the attorney general and the SEC over whether it illegally paid third parties to secure $1.3 billion in investments from New York's pension fund. [BN]
• BlackRock plans to raise $5-$7 billion to scoop up toxic assets. [Reuters]
• Scandal du jour: Danny Pang, who heads up the $4 billion fund Private Equity Management Group, has a few questions to answer, it would seem. [WSJ]

J. Ezra Merkin, the financier who handed more than $2 billion of his clients' money over to Bernie Madoff, has been sued by the New York attorney general. The New York Times employs Merkin's sister...

Andrew Cuomo just filed a civil lawsuit against Ezra Merkin for fraud and deception, alleging that Merkin "betrayed hundreds of investors who entrusted him with their savings by recklessly feeding their funds into the largest Ponzi scheme in history." [WSJ, NYT]