• ANDY SAMBERG AND CASS BIRD IN THE MAKEOUT [papermag.com via Gawker]

The size of 'SNL' boy wonder Andy Samberg's penis is revealed in this video! Also in this video: he converts lez photographer Cass Bird from box to dick in a single makeout sesh. [Paper]

• You can bid on Michael Biserta, that firefighter who got in trouble for showing off his ridiculous schlong in a Guys Gone Wild video, in a charity auction! But before you start liquidating your savings, be aware that's he's taken, "very happily dating a woman." You bet she's happy. [Page Six]
  

There was perhaps no better moment in capturing the wildly divergent career paths taken by former Mickey Mouse Club co-stars and lovers Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears than this weekend, when Timberlake not only swept the same MTV trophy ceremony on which Spears hammered the last press-on nail into her comeback coffin, but also managed to score an Emmy award for a boner-joke parody song done as a lark for a Saturday Night Live guest-hosting stint:

NICK DOUGLAS — "I'm thrilled to now add being part of a Super Bowl commercial to my list of accomplishments." Sad. But that's what one of the actors says in a promotion called My Bowl Ad, another chance for has-been internet stars to milk one more appearance out of the fame from their year-old YouTube video. But this is only one of the four paths that the career of an Internet celebrity (or "webtard") can take after the first 15 minutes.

[Video removed from CollegeHumor]

Remember how Andy Samberg from TheLonelyIsland.com was funny in SNL's "Lazy Sunday" and then just kinda showed up in that Natalie Portman vid? Here he is, playing Ron Google ("the inventor of Google") at last night's MTV awards, googling Jessica Alba. Turn up the speakers at work and hit play.

From the land of "Lazy Sunday," Saturday Night Live digital video wunderkind Andy Samberg has given himself over to the exotic lure of a "rowdy comedy" called Hot Rod: