As Tom Ford-zhuzhing dreammuffin Jake Gyllenhaal readies himself for Oscar night, the AP managed to actually do what millions of gay men could only fantasize about corner the actor and grill him about his workout routines:

Brokeback Mountain producer and frequent Ang Lee collaborator James Schamus set the record straight with USA Today over the recent rumors that the director's next project would be a biopic on the life of singer Dusty Springfield starring Charlize Theron, with Kate Moss as her lesbian lover. It seems the entire thing was a media-concocted fabrication:

Even if Brokeback Mountain somehow lets the Best Picture Oscar slip through its rope-calloused-yet-tender fingers, few could deny it has already established itself as movie of the year. While other features reeked of desperately wanting to be talked about Munich and Crash come to mind Brokeback's only agenda appeared to be a desire to tell the sad, quiet story at its core. As a result, it managed to capture our hearts in the process, none more so than the enthusiastic collector who won the shirts auction for just north of 100 grand, likening them to "the ruby slippers of our time.

Having ensured himself a lasting place in the Gay Man's Hall of Fame with Brokeback Mountain, director Ang Lee has made a canny choice for his next project: He'll stick to gay love stories, but win back the hearts of the straight guy population with some sweet girl-on-girl action starring two of the hottest chicks on the planet:

Once upon a time, before Mr. Fancypants director Ang Lee came in to screw things up with his gay green monster take on the Marvel legend, the words "The Incredible Hulk" struck fear and awe in the hearts of audiences (mostly boys, 9-12) everywhere. Now, the original Hulk, Mr. Lou Ferrigno, has been named an LA County reserve deputy sheriff:

In the end, Lionsgate's plan to buy themselves a SAG award by sending out an unprecedented 130,000 Crash screeners to every living SAG member (last paying gig Thug #3 on Magnum P.I.? You get a screener!) proved to be a winning strategy, as the movie took a best film ensemble trophy at yesterday's SAG awards. Shut out of the proceedings was Brokeback Mountain, a clear message from voters that it requires more actorly skill to pretend to be racist than it does to pretend to be gay. Other winners included Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote, Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line, the cast of Lost for best ensemble TV drama and, in a turn of events sure to have resulted in Ari Emanuel launching a plate of Chinese food at his plasma screen, the cast of Desperate Housewives for best ensemble TV comedy.

Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee is probably at this moment luxuriating in a bubble bath in his Hilton suite, gleefully using his new best director trophy for a little round of Golden Globe submarine commander. These recent accolades are almost enough to erase the memory of his disastrous last effort, The Hulk, which Lee admits left him "depressed and shaken." But while the production may have been a traumatic one for Lee, and a disappointment at the box office, it still made enough money ($245 million) for Universal to consider a Hulk 2 just don't expect it to be playing anywhere besides a home theater near you: