Poor little Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt. Not only does she face a future of scratch marks on her chubby cheeks wielded by notoriously jealous Zahara, but the female half of the Chosen Twins has to compete with older sister Shiloh for a spot on Hollywood’s Best Dressed Little Girls list. OK! has released their juvenile version of Mr. Blackwell’s annual rundown, awarding gold stars to everyone from newborn Harlow Madden, with her “mix between chic and rock,” to 2-year old Shiloh’s ability to “navigate the line between girly glam and tomboy cutting edge.” Yes, well done, Chosen One. What skill and grace it must take to lie back, spit up a few gaga goos, and wait for personal dresser Brad Pitt to equip you with a pricey new cashmere-and-diamond onesie. The rest of the list, including the mag’s pick for #1 most fashionable little doomed diva, after the jump.

Congratulations this morning to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the latter of whose womb has reportedly yielded its blobby, twinsy bounty at last. We think. It's official, isn't it? The Chosen Two are here? After InTouch called it Saturday afternoon, Extra overrode it an hour later and the rest of the world simply hedged somewhere in between until Jolie's exhausted doctor fled the delivery room craving a stiff drink, we can finally, confidently move on to the postgame show. Select reactions, including an overjoyed grandfather, and a French bureaucrat with paperwork, after the jump:

Hey, did you know that actors Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt welcomed two more strangely named children into the world over the weekend? Of course you did. It's been reported so many times, by so many news agencies and television programs that its signal has actually shot out into space to wrestle with the broadcast of the 1936 Berlin Olympics to instantly become outer space's most lingering evidence of humanity. But the important thing about the story (if there is an "important thing") is how desperately the tabloids scrambled for details and scoops and how epically, for the most part, they failed.

Could this be the end of the anonymous life of Banksy-British street artist -to-the-stars, darling of the underground and Angelina Jolie, and the most famous unidentified figure since Batman? We took a shot at solving the mystery ourselves a couple of months ago; but now the Daily Mail has done their own investigation, and we must say: it looks like they have him nailed. All the evidence is below-decide for yourself:

• It's two days since Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt were welcomed into the world by Brad and Angelina and it's been just as low-key as everyone expected. The mayor of Nice, Christian Estrosi, signed the birth certificate at a press conference; now the discussion has turned to pics of the babies, which are expected to fetch $15 to $20 million. [People, NYDN]

Well, they're here. "Angelina Jolie gave birth today to two baby girls at a French hospital in Nice, sources told In Touch Weekly. The much-ballyhooed twins were born in good health and under the watchful eye of Jolie's beau, Brad Pitt, an insider said. The 33-year-old actress gave birth by ceasarean section at 6 p.m. (France time) in a La Fondation Lenval hospital room fully protected from the lenses of paparazzi. The first baby was born at 6:45 p.m. The second girl entered the world 15 minutes later." [NYDN] Update: But maybe not! "Despite recent reports, 'Extra' has confirmed that Angelina Jolie has NOT given birth to her twins. In an emailed statement regarding the reports, spokesperson for the Lenval Hospital in Nice, France, Nadine Bauer, says, 'It is wrong information.' Bauer also said that all information regarding Jolie would be posted on Lenval's official website."

• Angelina Jolie wants to give birth, already, and leave the hospital like a tough American patriot. But her lazy, arrogant French doctors will make her wait in agony for three more days so they can celebrate cutting off rich people's heads like communists and probably also so they can fornicate with their unbathed mistresses, get drunk and fantasize about terrorism. See what happens under socialized medicine? Celebrity divas are grossly inconvenienced! Awesome, right? [Showbiz Spy]

• Jose Canseco says Madonna once tried to marry him and have his baby, so she could give daughter Lourdes a Cuban sibling with great genes. He joins Dennis Rodman on the would-be Madonna baby-daddy list. [NYDN]

It seems that Nice's favorite "very, very nice" patient and her well-appointed womb has taken a turn toward Grumpyville. Nearing the end of her seemingly endless gestation period, Angelina Jolie has grown tired of her hospital/hotel and its Michelin Star-less menu and has started demanding that salmon be brought in from other Clooney-approved restaurants. And, more ominously, reports have surfaced that Jolie has abandoned her strict one-shower-a-day regimen. A collective gasp...

• After weeks of battling in court, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook negotiated a "surprise" settlement last night, which they announced at 6 AM this morning. Many of the details are still fuzzy—they'll explain more when they get to court this morning—but custody will likely stay as is, and Christie will likely retain ownership of most of the couple's properties. [NYP]

As we round the corner onto the 17th month of weist-loss guru Angelina Jolie's seemingly interminable pregnancy (we're picturing the twins refusing to come out until the winner of their marathon, inter-uterus Boggle tournament is finally determined), the AP brings us this photo taken outside the Lenval Hospital in Nice, where Jolie is currently checked in under the assumed name of "J. Aniston." In it, a hospital worker can be clearly seen applying some kind of top-secret, high-tech material, developed by scientists at France's struggling space program, that effectively prevents any photographers from capturing any member of the Jolie-Pitt clan on film. (Amazingly, anyone else who happens to be in the room develops just fine, resulting in eerie shots of a staff of nurses and doctors fussing over empty space.)

In the ungoverned wilds of Chinese industry, where intellectual property is barely policed by the ineffectual People's Glorious Bureau of Familiar Western Faces and Poultry Grading, it's not an uncommon occurrence to stumble upon an A-list celebrity gracing the packaging of some 99¢ Only-store-bound product.

Blake Lively's people are throwing a hissy fit over the Gossip Girl star's cover shot on this month's Seventeen. And before assuming this is just another case of some publicist overreacting and getting their La Perlas in a twist over nothing, one quick look at the cover in question actually makes us side with the flack this time. Lively's gone out of her way recently to make sure no one confuses her with Paris Hilton, but her puffy eyes, hollow cheekbones and vampire chompers on the Seventeen cover aren't helping her case. Which begs the question: why is it so hard for a magazine to shoot a decent celebrity cover? Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie and Sarah Jessica Parker are all recent victims of the same unflattering cover treatments, and all kinds of oddly unglamorous shots have hit newsstands for years.

· Corey Haim spent an entire segment of The Two Coreys surfing the Defamer comment section and walked away emotionally damaged. But darker days are looming ahead.
· Angelina Jolie gave birth to the Chosen Twins! No wait, it was just another false alarm.
· McLovin and some starlets, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes some little McLovins in a baby carriage! But wait, watch out for that lightning storm!
· Madonna's frosty marriage to Guy Ritchie came thisclose to breaking down this week when reports surfaced that she's been fielding grounders from New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. And Lenny Kravitz has something to do with it.
· Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA. But don't fret! There's a Friends movie on the way (maybe).
· We wished the happiest of happy birthdays to Lindsay Lohan and Tom Cruise.
· We busted out our long lost graphing calculator and got all scientific on your asses by examining the comedic rise and fall of Mike Myers.
· Nude Nicole Kidman vs. the fully clothed Katie Holmes proved to be an uneven fight.
· Fanboys from sea to shining sea creamed their collective jeans when Megan Fox dumped Brian Austin Green. Brett Ratner called dibs and already has some erotic literature ready for their first date.
· Denise Richards carefully explained to her 13-year-old nephew exactly what a threesome is.
· At long last, anal lubricant got the recognition it so justly deserves.

• This story is getting messier by the minute: It seems Alex Rodriguez's wife Cynthia has been in Paris where she's been hooking up with Lenny Kravitz while her husband may or may not be involved with Madonna. The only one not getting any, it seems, is Guy Ritchie. [NYP]

Twice now, we've dangled before you the magnificent prospect of Angelina Jolie delivering two more blob-angels to her growing lineage. Both stories turned out to be wrong—the last of which left us so disappointed, we found ourselves tormented by anxiety nightmares on the topic. (One particularly harrowing scenario involved the Wanted star in stirrups as she shot out two genetically flawless newborns, who somehow managed to curve around a suspended pig carcass and land gently in adjoining cribs on the far side of the room.) In any case, it appears we are inching towards some perfect-baby-making resolution here:

• Reps for Madonna and Alex Rodriguez claim the two are "just friends." They just happen to be the kind of friends who have secret rendezvouses at their apartments until midnight. The day after having a baby. [NYP]

• The new 90210 just got a whole lot better because Shannon "My Career Will Never Die" Doherty is in talks to play Brenda Walsh. Oh Hells Yeah. [Perez Hilton]

"Angelina Jolie has checked into a hospital in the South of France in anticipation of giving birth to twins..." [People]

A little over a month ago, typically dependable celebrity-water-breaking newssource ET reported that Angelina Jolie had birthed conjoined-lifemate Brad Pitt's second batch of genetic progeny. But just as the world prepared to deliver a thunderous "Hazzah!" for Chosen Ones Numbers 2 through 3, the story was debunked, and a low moan of disappointment rolled across the land. Still, she can't hold on to those little messiahs forever—they'll eventually want out. In fact, one French publication called Closer (a brief look at their website suggests they cater to that lesser-sophisticated segment of France's population who demand access to exclusive photos of Really Skinny Colin Farrell) claims they are already here! From HuffPo: