Do you want to read ten tragic pages about the life of mixed-up cop-slugging former fucking reporter you fucking dyke Alycia Lane? It's got everything—crying to Dr. Phil, emailing bikini photos to Rich Eisen's wife, and, yes, slugging a lady cop. In Philadelphia those three actions basically make you the equivalent of Britney Spears, public meltdown-wise. [Philadelphia Mag]

Cop-slugging Philly anchor woman Alycia Lane—fired from her affiliate and reportedly contemplating a wrongful dismissal suit against them—is selling her luxury Philadelphia condo. There's no word yet on where she's moving (besides HOT LADIES' PRISON). [NYP]

Despite the fact that the only hits we can find for "NB2 Apparel" are related to the Alycia Lane story, we're just accepting that there is such a company, and they are probably in Philadelphia. And according to Page Six, they're offering hilarious Cop-Slugging Alycia Lane Memorial clothing! "NB2 Apparel is hawking T-shirts and hoodies with the phrase, 'I'm a [bleep]ing TV Reporter, Bitch!' with 20 percent of proceeds going to the Police Athletic League." See? It's all for a good cause. Except PAL doesn't really think it's that funny. According to PhillyGossip: "Lt. Susan Slawson of the Police Athletic League just reached out to say that PAL does not want and will not accept any proceeds from NB2 Apparel from sales of its Alycia Lane parody apparel we mentioned here. Slawson said she had no knowledge of NB2's intent to contribute money to PAL, but said the organization does not wish to benefit from any materials designed to mock another person." What a bunch of humorless dyke bitches!

Alycia Industry [NYP]
PAL to NB2: We Don't Want Your Money [PhillyGossip]