Lindsay Lohan's house may have been broken into, live! Katie Holmes inspired creepy Scientology fashion lines. Charles Dickens was a ladies' man's momma's boy. Jeremy Piven: alive. Bill Clinton: bedbugged. Anna Paquin: nekkid. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

• The "designer dog house" that Paris Hilton had built recently—which is equipped with chandeliers and air-conditioning—cost her $325K, or considerably more than what most Americans spends on human homes. [Luxist]
• Rosie O'Donnell and her partner Kelli Carpenter-O'Donnell are not splitting up, you'll undoubtedly be relieved to hear. [People]
• Kristin Davis of Sex and the City fame has found herself caught up in a dispute over Middle Eastern politics. You didn't expect to hear that, did you? [P6]
• Did MSNBC's Keith Olbermann use some pull to snag his girlfriend a job working as a reporter for WNBC? It wouldn't be the first time! [P6]

It's a big birthday for Jennifer Lopez. She's celebrating the big 4-0 today. Other people who will be blowing out candles this fine Friday: Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth is turning 41. Anna Paquin is 27. Director Doug Liman turns 44. Director Gus Van Sant is turning 57. Billionaire investor Nelson Peltz is 67. Artist Alex Katz is turning 82. Senator Claire McCaskill is 56. Governor Charlie Crist of Florida is 53. Barry Bonds turns 45. Retired basketball stars Rick Fox and Karl Malone are turning 40 and 46, respectively. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame is turning 60. Actor Dan Hedaya is 69. And Wonder Woman—actress Lynda Carter—celebrates her 58th birthday today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

Ashton Kutcher, Margaret Killer? Make what you will of the news that playwright/filmmaker Kenneth Lonergan is rewriting an Ashton Kutcher comedy — on one hand Lonergan has Oscar nominations for both script-doctoring Gangs of New York and guiding his fussy You Can Count on Me through the indie trenches, while on the other we hear he's been cooped up in an editing room, fighting off Fox Searchlight for nearly two years over his troubled Anna Paquin/Matt Damon (among many others) drama Margaret. We'd like to think his taste will light the way on Like Father, which will star Kutcher as a man whose animosity toward his father abates as they "coincidentally" raise infant sons and "are forced to go through the fatherhood experience together." And maybe it'll be great, but we trust our first impression here more than we necessarily trust Lonergan: With work like this holding him over, don't be surprised if his own baby Margaret never sees the light of day. [Variety]

This is the one day when Jennifer Lopez has the right to act like a diva: The new mom turns 39 today. Also celebrating: Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth turns 40 today (although she looks like she's 12). Anna Paquin is 26. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame turns 59. Billionaire investor Nelson Peltz is 66. Artist Alex Katz is 81. Director Gus Van Sant turns 52. And scandal-plagued baseball star Barry Bonds is 44.

Like it or not, it's time to let go of any qualms you may have about welcoming a successor to Harry Potter's tween-bewitching throne and embrace what will surely become the zeitgeisty-est franchise of the decade. Twilight is here, it's a little bit queer, and don't even try ignoring it. The dewy, sexy, hickey-adorned film version of the hugely successful books centered around hot teenage vampires has begun garnering its first feature stories in the glossies, and the millions of "fan girls" obsessed with the tales are mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore. The new issue of EW features the film's two newbie stars on its cover, and the odd photo is setting message boards and fan sites ablaze with criticism from the series' longtime devotees. And angry fans aren't the only obstacle Twilight faces — too-cool-for-school Alan Ball has a vampire show premiering on HBO later this year and, unlike "powdered donut" Edward and "plain" Bella, his blood-suckers sit at the cool kids' table...