Election Day is the absolute worst day to be on the internet. (The Onion agrees.) If it's not the friends — "friends" — you disagree with saying stupid stuff, it's the friends you agree with saying even stupider stuff, wall-to-metaphorical-wall across every social network you belong to.

Researchers in England have just published a list of the ten most annoying sounds in the whole entire universe, or, anyway, in the list of 74 sounds they played for participants as part of their study on the brain's reactions to unpleasant sound.

The Marist College Institute for Public Opinion has done its annual survey and declared "whatever" the "word or phrase considered to be the most annoying in casual conversation" in 2011. Right. Ummm... sure. I mean... whatever.

Pop music thingamajig Lady Gaga published her first V magazine column and boy is she trying to school readers. Not only do they get a lesson on how she came up with her "Born This Way" video, but also a lecture on art, fashion, and literature.

Tired of high-pitched sirens disturbing the quiet peace of the quaint, idyllic burg in which you chose to make your home—New York, NY? Good news. The NYPD is switching from its old screeching siren to a new brand of siren called The Rumbler. It's better because it rumbles!

Katherine Heigl was having a hot tub party with her husband, and they made so much noise, her neighbor called the cops. Is this lady annoying, or what? So! Very! Annoying! Sorry Kathy, there is no reversing this "image problem."

Scientists have definitively proved that overhearing a cellphone conversation is more distracting than overhearing a normal conversation. It's because you only hear a "half-a-logue," which is less predictable and therefore requires more mental power to parse and ignore.

Britons are bracing for more travel trouble from our old friend Eyjafjallajokull.

Those really annoying trucks that drive around, clog up city streets, and serve no other purpose than to expose you to some dumb ad? They're getting an upgrade. Taking a cue from those horrific RVs that Lubavitch Jews use to proselytize with, the "mobile billboards" will soon blast music as they drive around town.

Hippies are going up to people on the street and handing them scraps of paper! It is highly annoying. This sample was obtained yesterday; some fella approached and extended the paper, and did not seem to be selling anything else in particular besides free fucking love.

"Nine times out of ten, using 'sic' simply draws attention away from the quote and towards the quoter, and, to this reader's eyes at least, reduces the quoter to a smug, insecure attention-seeker, more interested in advertising their own knowledge than in adding to the sum of the world's. So writers, think twice!—put a sock in sic." [Prospect]