A 13 year-old Brooklyn boy with Asperger's syndrome got scared of being scolded about school so he spent eleven f'ing days riding the New York subway—alone and undetected—because this world is a cold and heartless place.

Interested in turning your world from "blasé to rosé"? The New Yorkers by Cathleen Schine, featured in today's Times Book Review, chronicles the lives of some pretty lonely folk—lonely, that is, until they are rescued from anomie by some heroic canines. No simple matter of dog being (wo)man's best friend, apparently this creatively titled text establishes a rigorous mathematical framework for evaluating personhood based on doghood. Skeptical? Let's go to the evidence!