Update from the Wall Street Journal white-powder scare: The evacuation has been so mishandled that employees were reduced to reading Gawker — or picking up the phone and reporting the story themselves.

The World Financial Center—home of Dow Jones and the Wall Street Journal—just received a "suspicious package"! No one is allowed to open any mail! Breaking!

OK, who's sending all the white powder to New York newsrooms—and can you snort it? Reuters evacuated their newsroom today due to a powder-filled envelope. Last week, the New York Times had to seal off some elevators and evacuate one floor after a similar incident—which, as we reported, was scary, but no reason to stop working. Nothing to see here, folks. (We hope.)

Yesterday the New York Times had an anthrax scare at its headquarters. White powder in an envelope! The lobby was closed. People were barred from the main elevators. Who knows how many grammatical errors were made by scared and distracted reporters? Turned out the white powder was "some kind of pebbles." You know what? All this irrational anthrax fear is going to have to stop. Think about it: A lone nut was able to effectively seal off the entire New York Times building—and get an entire floor evacuated—by filling up an envelope with some fish tank pebbles or something. The same thing happened to the Times a month after 9/11, and they evacuated the entire newsroom. Also, "since then, there have been several other cases of suspicious materials being sent to The Times. None turned out to be harmful." It doesn't take much extrapolation to figure out that you could cost the NYT millions of dollars over the course of a year with just a box of safety envelopes and two scoops of baking soda. (And the Times can't afford it!) And really, is anthrax still a thing? It takes an incredibly sophisticated scientist to produce weapons-grade anthrax, and we haven't had any real anthrax attacks since that one rash we had several years back. It's basically the skyscraper equivalent of being made to remove your shoes when you go on planes. One single dude ruined it for everyone. So our suggestion: If you receive some powder in the mail, calmly call the cops. Don't shut down the building. Don't evacuate everyone. A decent actuary will tell you that, hey, in the long run your odds are extremely good. And that's what the New York Times stands for: facts, statistics, and a life chained to a desk. Back to work! [We reserve the right to change our minds when we receive anthrax here.]

This is fun. Whenever the crazy culture wars heat up, someone starts mailing dangerous white powder to senators, newspapers, and banks. A New York Times human resources exec just sent an email around to the office staff warning of a suspicious white power found in an envelope addressed to the newspapers. The cops are there and the lobby is closed. Click through for the email. From: NYTIMES MAIL Date: Oct 22, 2008 12:24 PM Subject: Note from Dennis Stern re the Building To: NY TIMES NOTES Folks, At about 11:30 a.m. today an employee on the 13th floor of our headquarters building in New York opened an envelope addressed to The New York Times. A white granular substance was in the envelope. The New York City police were called and are now on site investigating. The 41st Street side of the lobby is closed but people are able to get in and out of the building. We will keep you updated on any developments. Dennis

Come on, crazies, not the old mysterious white powder gag again. What is it about political psychopaths, abortion freaks, and Anthrax? They've got a fetish for the stuff. Get a new move, terrorists! "I'm told the Los Angeles Times mailroom opened a hand-scrawled letter today that read 'death to Obama' and contained a white powder that triggered a call to the FBI and a city hazardous materials team." "No one was injured and the powder proved to be harmless. My sources say the letter was addressed to staff writers Richard Serrano and Ralph Vartabedian and included a demand for a retraction to their story this week that detailed flying mishaps early in John McCain's Navy flying career. The nut mail was said to carry an upside-down stamp and language about saving babies in addition to the Barack Obama threat." [LA Observed]

Stop Us If You Think That You've Heard This One Before: We're all outta Valkyrie jokes at this point, but it is our civic duty to relay to you that the MGM building has been evacuated this morning due to a bomb threat. As you'll no doubt recall, this same thing happened last Friday and also in early August. And for those of you keeping score at home, the storied Constellation Blvd. office building has also suffered anthrax threats and an unprovoked attack of killer bees in the last two months. If you want more information, we have the email sent out to employees after the jump.——————

Suspected bio-warfare prankster Bruce Ivins may or may not have mailed people anthrax back in 2001, but either way, it's clear that the guy appreciates a good practical joke. Long before the FBI came after him for the deadly spore gag—and before he killed himself during the investigation—the Roman Catholic doctor made clear his desire to be cremated upon his death. However, he apparently didn't trust his wife and son to honor his wishes, so he built a rather clever escape clause into his last will and testament. The will states that if his wife—an anti-abortion activist and former president of the Frederick County (Maryland) Right to Life group—doesn't burn his remains and scatter them to the four winds, about one-third of his estate will be donated to Planned Parenthood. Diabolical! There are few things sweeter than zombie emotional blackmail from the beyond. Just remember, though—the guy may have had a habit of terrorizing people with fine particles of dust, but that doesn't necessarily mean the FBI was right. [NYT]

Bruce Ivins, the scientist who killed himself after the government linked him to the 2001 anthrax attacks, reportedly loved sorority girls. As all Americans do! He was supposedly obsessed with the Kappa Kappa Gamma sisters of Princeton. Now, as you can imagine, those girls are fielding a lot of media requests. They don't get it, though! As a sister writes to IvyGate: "i dont really get why he would be so interested in Kappa…i mean of all the sororities on campus we are the most diversely boring…and also the most unworthy of obsession." Regardless of whatever the hell "diversely boring" means (Ivy League education!), surely there's something interesting enough about these ladies to encourage a man to commit bioterrorism, right? We may never know, if these Facebook messages imploring everyone to keep silent are effective.

Scientist Bruce Ivins—who committed suicide last week after learning he would be indicted in connection with the 2001 anthrax letter-attacks that killed five—was mentally disturbed and spent time in group therapy in the weeks leading up to his death. Now, the AP has learned, he was also obsessed with the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority. In fact, this sorority-girl obsession might actually crack part of the case:

Scientist Bruce Ivins-who committed suicide last week after after the Feds told his lawyer he would be charged in connection with the 2001 anthrax mail killings-stood to make a profit off the panic caused by the attacks thanks to vaccine patents he held. "Ivins is listed as a co-inventor on two patents for a genetically engineered anthrax vaccine, federal records show. Separately, Ivins also is listed as a co-inventor on an application to patent an additive for various biodefense vaccines."

One of the leading scientists in the investigation of the 2001 anthrax attacks has committed suicide after learning the FBI had identified him as a suspect in the attacks. Bruce Ivins, 62, had worked at a U.S. government biodefense labs in Maryland for eighteen years. He died after — no, not what you think — after ingesting "a massive dose of prescription Tylenol mixed with codeine," according to a friend and colleague. I did some reporting and actual lab work on bioterrorism after the attacks. Anthrax, I learned, isn't taken seriously as a weapon of mass destruction because it's hard to deliver lethal doses, and it's not rabidly contagious. You really want smallpox. (Photo by AP/Ron Thomas)

A memo! "Today we received a letter at the offices of Good Morning America at 147 Columbus Avenue that mentioned anthrax. We immediately notified the NYPD and they are investigating the situation. Out of an abundance of caution we closed down the area around the office and are awaiting additional information from authorities. As we have more information we will provide an update via email."

Professional Bush-hater Keith Olbermann recently received an envelope full of white powder. The Post reports: