George Stephanopoulos acknowledges that he should've pressed Rudy Giuliani on his insane comments this morning.

Sen. Chuck Schumer is really, really sorry he called a US Airways flight attendant a "bitch" yesterday after she ordered him to turn off his cellphone before takeoff: "The senator made an off-the-cuff comment under his breath after the flight attendant walked away. He shouldn't have made it, he regrets it and he has apologized for it." [Fox5]

Tiger Woods isn't taking our advice: "I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people... After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf." [TigerWoods.com]

Good morning! Welcome back from the long holiday weekend. If you're like us, you're probably wondering why pictures of Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black are the first things you see at the top of the home page. It's a glitch, we're told, that's running art from two different ad campaigns on the site right now. Update: the whole thing has been taken down until the issue is resolved. Thanks, ad folks.

Last week we were telling Adam Lambert to gay it up because no one cares he's a 'mo. Now his über-gay performance at the American Music Awards cost him a spot on Good Morning America. We're sorry, Adam.

Rupert Murdoch called Gov. David Paterson earlier today to apologize for his bizarre comments yesterday in which he suggested the governor was clueless about the political goings-on in New York because he was blind. And Paterson accepted. "Apparently, Paterson was willing to chalk Murdoch's bizarre comments up to a 'random misstatement.'" [NYDN]

Rupert Murdoch has apologized for blaming the polarization of our political debate on the fact that New York Gov. David Paterson is "blind, and can't read braille, and doesn't know what's going on."

So Rush Limbaugh was forbidden from owning the St. Louis Rams because the Obama White House controls the NFL players' union and, obviously, they control the NFL. But he totally didn't say those terrible things about black people!

As we explained in August, Betsy McCaughey is a liar who lies. Incessantly. The magazine that ennabled her lying originally is now, finally calling her out on it.

The online petition is just about the least convincing showcase of political will yet devised. But it can still trigger meaningful action, like the British Prime Minister's apology to the late computer science pioneer Alan Turing, persecuted for being gay.

Orange County Register sports columnist Mark Whicker would like to apologize for phoning in his column on Tuesday. He realizes now that child kidnapping/rape/enslavement cases are more than easy pegs for sports listicles.

The best time to say "sorry" to your customers is when no one else will hear you say it. That seems to be the thinking at Google, Amazon and AT&T, which are all ready to grovel to you, today.

Microsoft has restored a black businessman to its Polish website and offered "sincere apologies" for replacing him with a grinning white guy, using Photoshop MS Paint.

The White House is changing its procedures for sending out mass e-mails after hundreds of outraged conservatives received David Axelrod's healthcare reform pitch last week, Politico reports.

Perez Hilton got a fawning LA Times profile today. Instead of taking the opportunity to win fans back after recent publicity snafus, he used it as a platform to define his brand going forward: that of a professionally insufferable dick.

The Washington Post did a terrible thing, the New York Times reports. "Why is the WP so morally bankrupt?" the NYT wonders. The Post has issued a laughably weak apology for being a cheater loser paper, reports the NYT!

The US Senate has formally apologized for slavery. And Jim Crow laws, too! The House apologized last year. Read the resolution here—powerful writing, by Congressional standards! This should not be construed as a formal apology for Strom Thurmond's career.

Reports have surfaced that David Letterman offered yet another apology to Sarah Palin at this afternoon's taping of his show set to air later tonight. He couldn't have made a bigger mistake.

Susan Roesgan's report from last week's Tea Party in Chicago ended with a particularly damning example of a TV news reporter reporting the truth:

How did hipster grifter and fugitive from justice Kari Ferrell take advantage of so many people in two separate states? With charm! We have two charming emails from her, as proof. She's sorry, okay?