Alleged killer-cop cop-killer Christopher Jordan Dorner is almost positively dead, San Bernardino Sheriff John McMahon told reporters at a press conference late yesterday.

For the first time since 1944, the Pentagon has created a new combat-related medal to award drone pilots. Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta announced today that the Distinguished Warfare Medal will be given to those who have a direct impact on combat relations, but don't risk their lives to do so.

Have you ever had a casual acquaintance who seemed totally normal and nice and the first time you went to their house they were like, "I can't believe you've never seen my house!" and you were like "I can't believe I've never seen your house!" and then you stepped inside and the floor was littered with mutilated doll bodies and it smelled like apricots and there was no furniture?

Not satisfied with their first try, the film industry has decided to give it another go at a Liz Taylor biopic.

As LA's killer cop manhunt drags into its sixth day, police are learning ever more about Christopher Dorner, the man suspected of killing three people and wounding two others on a revenge mission against the LAPD. Dorner apparently purchased scuba gear two days before allegedly killing his first two victims, and police now believe him to be using burner cellphones to maintain contact with friends and allies. What's more, one of those allies tried to help Dorner flee to Mexico, according to new criminal charges filed in US District Court late last week.

According to reports from the U.S. Geological Survey, there was a small, 4.9 magnitude earthquake in North Korea late on Monday. The tremor's epicenter was reportedly near North Korea's previous nuclear test sites, where devices were detonated in 2006 and 2009, fueling rumors that the quake was the result of a nuclear explosion. Those rumors have now been confirmed by a United Nations Security Council diplomat, South Korea's Defense Ministry, who are reporting the test yielded an explosion of six to seven kilotons, and the North Korean government.

Things aren't sounding so great for the 4,200 passengers stranded aboard the disabled Carnival Triumph cruise ship, which is currently being towed by two boats through the Gulf of Mexico to Mobile, Alabama, one day after a fire disabled the ship's engines. ABC News is now reporting the ship has limited access to running water and power, and there are also reports of passengers using buckets as makeshift toilets.

A popular Esquire story released today that claims the Navy SEAL who killed Osama bin Laden is ineligible for health care is apparently wrong about that, according to the military publication Stars and Stripes.

Since coffee is for pussies and tea is way gay, PepsiCo's Mountain Dew has a new morning soda to start your day off right. It's called Kickstart and it sounds delightful.

More than two decades of The War on Drugs has proven definitively that locking people in jail is a terrible way to solve the drug problem. It has given us the world's highest incarceration rate—an incarceration problem that is worse than the problems that the mass incarceration was supposed to solve. Now, perhaps, the pendulum has begun to swing back towards sanity.

Yesterday, the Washington Post ran an open letter to college professors written by retiring high school teacher Kenneth Bernstein that read, in part:

In order to make ends meet this year after suing her financial managers, writer Patricia Cornwell has sold off the following items:

The Grammy Awards air tonight at 8, which means for about three hours on Twitter, the Grammy Awards will be relevant.

Had you asked me last week if the number of known pyramids in the world was likely to substantially increase anytime soon, I might have said no; how wrong I would have been. LiveScience recently reported that in the last three years "at least 35" petite pyramids have been uncovered for the first time in millennia at a single site in Sudan.

Snope. Snow kidding. There's a storm out there. But if a thousand feet of snow falls on the Northeast and you're not there to pick the right Instagram filter, did it really fall at all?

You'd think Nelson Mandela, a worldly, highly decorated 94-year-old man who spent 27 years of his life in a harsh, degrading prison fighting to free his people from the shackles of injustice and colonial abuse would want absolutely nothing to do with the TLC reality show Toddlers & Tiaras.

As the Northeast braces for the storm of the century of the week, her citizens have turned into a population of old tabby house cats, arranging their nests as they prepare to die. In their desperate need to shop for anything, people have even cleared out the bad ice cream flavors from the grocery store shelves.

After the massacre at Sandy Hook elementary school last year, even the most devout religious people had cause to momentarily question their faith. Why would a loving god allow something so awful to happen? So, afterwards, Newtown, Connecticut held an interfaith service at which many different religions were represented. Now, the Lutheran guy is apologizing for attending.

After an ill-advised foray into acting and the release of a mediocre comeback single, there was only one direction left for Justin Timberlake to take: creative director for Anheuser Busch's high-alcohol new-ish product, Bud Light Platinum. As part of his new gig, Timberlake will be in charge of providing Bud Light Platinum's "creative, musical and cultural curation." He will also star in a commercial for the beer, which will debut during Sunday's Grammy Awards. Timberlake's take on the move?

The polling wizards at Quinnipiac University have released a new poll assessing Americans' opinions of a wide array of hot button issues, including women in combat, gun control, and abortion. While there are some surprises here, there are also some major "ya doi"s. So let's get into it.