In Apple's marketing, the new iPhone "changes everything" and is "indispensable." But when an irate customer complained he couldn't live without reception on his new iPhone, CEO Steve Jobs told him to "calm down... you're getting worked up over... rumors."

Global Mundo Tapas, a restaurant in Sydney, Australia, has replaced its menus with the MenuPad app for iPads.

The mania for Apple's newest gadgets isn't confined to frighteningly obsessive consumers; filmmakers are now touting movies about, shot through and even edited on iPads and new iPhones. This gimmick content isn't nearly as bad as you might think.

Us Weekly claims actor Jason Bateman got booed for cutting in line for the iPhone. Jason denies it and Keith Olbermann's got his back—but people keep saying it happened. Come, let us untangle this knotted web of lies.

The iPad security breach earlier this month didn't just expose thousands of email addreses, but could also help hackers track down users' physical locations, says a growing chorus of security experts.

The California law firm that sued Facebook and Zynga over scammy gaming ads is setting its sights on Apple, investigating a possible class action over reception problems with the new iPhone.

That was quick: Just a few days after Apple's iPhone 4 went on sale — featuring video chat capabilities — the "FaceTime" sex chat services are already starting up.

Every day, it seems a new iPad feature gets demonstrated on the Internet. Watch as artist David Kassan uses his iPad and the Brushes app to finger paint a man's portrait with a stunning level of detail. Electronic art, indeed!

OK, this is amazing. Here's "The Deleted Scenes," an iPhone 4 spoof by Adam Scott for Funny or Die. Watch as Scott and others talk—in the most vulgar way possible—about how the new iPhone changes (and does) everything.

Two thousand Angelenos reportedly booed and hissed yesterday when Arrested Development's Jason Bateman—escorted by an Apple employee—cut in line for the iPhone. Even Woz waited in line! (This time.) [Us, CNN]

Steve Jobs gave a new iPhone to the Russian president the day before patriotic American fanboys battled lines, shortages and debilitating heat to splurge on the smartphone. Just what sort of "revolution" is the Apple CEO really planning, mmm?

Those sitting out in the sun today for a new iPhone might have waited hours or overnight. They are wimps. Twilight fans have been camped out since Monday for tonight's premiere. They will show you how it's done!

In cities across America, throngs of fanboys are lined up for the new iPhone. There are too many customers, and too few of Apple's shiny new product. The chaos is rising with the summer temperature, and so is the anger.

Dmitry Medvedev, the "elected" president of Russia, is touring Silicon Valley companies this week. At Apple tomorrow, say Russian reports, the Mac enthusiast will get a pre-release iPhone 4 as a personal gift from CEO Steve Jobs. Appropriate.

Amazon.com cut its Kindle price by $70 to $190, and Barnes & Noble did likewise with the Nook. This is no doubt to fend off Apple's fast-selling iPad, but should also keep people buying those high-margin $15 e-books. Clever.

Apple has a new privacy policy letting it collect and retain the "precise... real-time geographic location" of users, and share this with outsiders. The data is supposed to be anonymous, but you know how that goes. Enjoy that new sp-iPhone!

Two iPad shipments to Apple stores in NYC have been intercepted by robbers this week.

Apple says it had 600,000 orders for the iPhone 4 on its first day. Hope they had enough paper!

A member of Goatse Security had his home searched by the FBI yesterday before going to jail for drugs. The group gave Apple and AT&T headaches over weak iPad customer security; now it's been punished with headaches of its own.