Steve Jobs can finally build his dream home; the Woodside City Council approved plans to dismember the mansion he owns and detests. But the Apple CEO must give the pieces to someone who knows from good architecture. Oh, snap!

The Securities and Exchange Commission is reportedly still investigating whether Apple misled investors about Steve Jobs' health. That the company's stock has nearly doubled in the intervening six months is apparently beside the point — as it should be.

In San Francisco, citizens complain to the city over Twitter. Bostonians have it even better: they got an iPhone application just for carping at City Hall. It's never been easier to funnel your complaint into a Kafkaesque black hole!

Apple won't say whether Steve Jobs was at the office today as part of his official return to the company. But a Valleywag spy spotted the CEO on his company's Cupertino campus. Jobs apparently left early:

Steve Jobs is BACK! Oh, he's just stone cold striding into the office, high-fiving people, running marathon meetings, screaming his as... err, wait, actually, did we say "back?" More like backish. The official word:

It's been a full year since Time magazine dubbed porn "The iPhone's Next Frontier," and only now has an application publisher dared to distribute a truly adult application: An app called Hottest Girls was updated to include naked pictures.

A hospital officially confirmed Steve Jobs received a liver transplant there, and did so with Jobs' permission. Meaning everyone is talking about the Apple CEO's sickness, except Apple. The pressure on the company's paralyzed directors is, justifiably, mounting.

Fake Steve Jobs is back. Dan Lyons, author of the piercingly funny satire blog, insists his return may be temporary. But he wouldn't be having this much fun with Jobs' illness if he still worried about the Apple CEO's death.

• The bleak outlook for network news is getting bleaker: Both the CBS Evening News and ABC's World News suffered all-time ratings lows last week. [HuffPo]
• CBS chief Les Moonves's compensation was slashed by 76 percent last year. He still earned $13.6 million, though, so don't feel too bad for him. [Crain's]
• Depressing: Monday's breakup episode of TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8 was the most-watched episode of the show ever with 10.6 million viewers. [THR]
• MySpace is closing four of its international offices and cutting two-thirds of its staff abroad advertising falls and Facebook and Twitter take over. [NYT]
• A woman in Massachusetts has filed a lawsuit against Elisabeth Hasselbeck for allegedly ripping off her self-published book on celiac disease. [BH]
• Bravo honcho Andy Cohen is going to be hosting a live show once a week called Watch What Happens. You can watch what happens on July 16. [LAT]

It looks as though Apple did a good job angering the New York Times with the news that Steve Jobs recently underwent a liver transplant. The paper's Tuesday edition dedicates two pieces to Apple's renowned penchant for shadiness.

Darcy Stacom, the commercial real estate broker who convinced Mort Zuckerman's Boston Properties to pay $3.5 billion to buy the GM building in 2008, has suggested that Apple cough up a few bucks and pay Zuckerman for the right to rename the tower, so it doesn't sport the name of a bankrupt automaker. Let's hope Steve Jobs sets aside his health issues and moves quickly on this opportunity to plant a glowing white apple at the top of the skyscraper. Considering Zuckerman has already turned the "Citigroup Center" into "601 Lexington Avenue," the GM building may turn into the much blander-sounding "767 Fifth Avenue" if he doesn't. [Reuters]

The Wall Street Journal reports: Steve Jobs had a liver transplant in Tennessee two months ago, he's in recovery, and is going to be back to work before the end of the month. Just like they said he would be.

Steve Jobs is famous for possessing a "reality distortion field" that bends people to his will. But today he's got nothing on his Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, who talked shoppers into letting him jump an iPhone line.

Palm has become the premiere sanctuary for Steve Jobs refugees. As if to cast aside any doubt over this fact — and to underline that it's working — the smartphone maker tonight promoted former iPod chief Jon Rubinstein to CEO.

Another Apple conference means another chance for Jim Goldman to deliver Apple talking points into CNBC cameras. The network's famously petit Silicon Valley bureau chief was careful to bring his booster box. A bystander snapped us some pictures.

There are any number of ways Steve Jobs could have made an appearance at Apple's developer's conference today. He didn't. Yet the company still built heavy buzz for what could have very easily turned out as a lackluster product refresh.

It doesn't take a particularly creative publishing executive to imagine a big opportunity in the new iPhone software Apple showed off today.

The traffic, it was too much: Digg just went down, a likely victim of an overwhelming surge of traffic around the ongoing keynote speech at Apple's developer conference. What's weird about this news?

In 2006, a hacker named DVD Jon cracked the encryption on Apple's music store files. Today he's pulled off a more tangible hack: Buying a billboard practically inside Apple's San Francisco store to advertise his "cure for iPhone envy."

Steve Jobs is set to return to Apple on schedule at the end of June, "people familiar with Apple" tell the Wall Street Journal. He might also end up at the company's developer's conference next week, the paper said.