Earlier this afternoon, a man in Seattle decided to climb up a tree, throw apples at the surrounding medics, and otherwise refuse any attempt at aid. Twelve hours later, he is showing no signs of letting up. In fact, it looks like our Man in Tree has even begun to build himself a home.

It’s been a long day (terror, politics, grief, my chicken sandwich had a piece of chicken bone in it) and this gentleman from Seattle agrees, which is why he’s gone berserk and up a tree, and man, he just won’t come down.

Shots fired: in a move to protect the health of its citizens, Europe has ostensibly banned American apples from ever making it to their grocery store shelves. Following regulations by the European Food Safety Authority, our apples, which are too high in residues of DPA, won't make it across the ocean.

After being stabbed in the side with a butcher knife, a 58-year-old parking garage attendant in the Bronx fended off two armed attackers with an apple. The surveillance video shows two younger men threatening the attendant, who happened to be holding an apple at the time. (By color, I would guess it is a Gala. Jonagold, Fuji, and Honeycrisp are also possibilities.) As the knife-wielding assailant lunges at our frugivorous hero, he flings his snack at his attacker, then shoves the thug out the door.

Frankenapples could soon be here: A Canadian biotechnology company, Okanagan Specialty Fruits has asked the USDA to approve a new "Arctic" apple that, when sliced, doesn't brown. It'll help sell more snacks! Some critics call it a "botox apple."

Meet Kimbra Hickey, the model whose hands grace the now-iconic cover of vampire romance Twilight. What's she up to these days? Oh, not much, just hanging out at the Barnes & Noble cash register, telling people who she is.

The Environmental Working Group, a public health nonprofit, has created a list of the fruits and vegetables most contaminated by pesticides according to the government's produce pesticide reports. Do you like peaches? Than you may not want to keep reading.