They weren't bad posts, just misunderstood. Nevertheless, we wrote them and you didn't want to read them. Ladies and gentlemen, these are the least popular Gawker posts of 2009.

• A long list of media luminaries and politicians, including President Obama and former president Clinton, turned out for this afternoon for a memorial service at Avery Fisher Hall in honor of Walter Cronkite. [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Stephen Farrell, a New York Times reporter taken hostage by militants in Afghanistan, was freed early this morning following a raid by British commandos; his Afghan interpreter, however, was killed. [NYT, E&P]
• The McKinsey consultants who have been reviewing operations at Condé Nast are finishing up their work and will be submitting their findings shortly. So what changes are in store for the magazine conglomerate? No one knows for sure, but further budget cuts and a closure or two are entirely likely. [NYO]
• McGraw-Hill, the parent company of BusinessWeek, reports that 93 different buyers have expressed an interest in acquiring the struggling magazine. [BN]

The big news in the trades was about the trades today. Variety's legendary gala fixture, columnist Army Archerd died yesterday at age 87. The Defamer Trade Roundup lowers its flag to half mast in tribute.

Once upon a time, back when Hollywood-related media was relatively quaint, there was a man named Army Archerd. After covering the entertainment scene for the Associated Press, in 1956 he moved to Variety, where his column became a hit.

Count Oscar-greeter emeritus Army Archerd among those laughing his ass off at plans to sneak surprise presenters and attendees into the show via parachute in the dead of night.

Army Archerd surprises us every couple of months or so with a scoop worthy of his 55-year reputation as "Hollywood's Original Blogger," or whatever Variety is calling him these days. Today, for example, the veteran gadfly brings word of a cinematic revival so towering, so ahead-of-its-time, so... smelly it could only emerge from the smoldering cerebrum of Brett Ratner:

The sadistic bastards over at Variety certainly have a sick sense of humor, don't they? Army Archerd gives them 137 years of service, and they repay his loyalty with a blog? The just-retired Archerd bravely accepts his fate, and perhaps to flip the bird to his inhumane corporate tormentors, announces that he's going to deprive himself of the lifeblood that nourishes the interwebosphere: