Paul Parisi, a prisoner at Stateville Correctional Center in Illinois, suffers from fibroneuroma—a disease that causes benign tumors to form on his nerve cells. When Parisi's illness started causing him severe pains, he asked his (taxpayer-subsidized) prison doctors to treat him. So they gave him some (free) aspirin and ibuprofen, the end.

Tumbleweed comeback! Aspirin cancer! Goosebump fear! Star molecules! Cowardly dragonflies! Fish labeling! Python organs! Spider foreplay! And outer space's most popular costumes! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—with bravado!

Samurai workout! Kids sleeping! Plastic man-surgery! Lap teen-bands! Abortion fluctuations! Smallpox preservation! New aspirin! Disabled children! And the best sunscreens, revealed! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—dangerously!

Finally, a reason for science to exist: A researcher in Philadelphia (of course!) has discovered the single most effective cure for a hangover. And it's really pretty simple.

Dinosaurs: "They would still be here if they hadn't caught a cold," says this ad for aspirin-plus-vitamin-C. Product slogan: "So you don't catch a cold." Can you spot the two flaws in this campaign?