People are struggling to understand what caused the hugely destructive earthquake and tsunami in Japan. For some, "plate tectonics" and "random chance" isn't good enough. And this month, the moon will be closer to the Earth than it has been since 1993. So now there's a dumb "supermoon" conspiracy theory gaining steam.
Astronomers have restored the original Babylonian zodiac by recalculating the dates that correspond with each sign to accommodate millennia of subtle shifts in the Earth's axis. Prepare to have your minds blown, all you people with easily blowable minds.
Forget the pundits, wonks, blowhard analysts and media commentators: In order to get some real insight into our new political era and what it may bring, let's consider the constellations of planets millions of miles from earth! Indian astrologer Bejan Daruwala, for example, predicts that Barack Obama, who is a Leo—he was born on August 4th, a birthday he shares with these people—will usher in peace and prosperity, and restore America's reputation with foreign nations.
Looking at the night sky in Florida last week, I remarked at a tall radio tower's two steady lights. My mom informed me that they were, in fact, the planets Jupiter and Venus (and that I was an idiot), brightly shining in conjunction for the first time in three years, and the last time for the next five. Our tech fellow Ian Van Ness snapped this photo of the occurrence from Gawker HQ's roof deck in New York City last night. Supposedly these two celestial bodies are good luck planets (especially for you Capricorns, Virgos, and Tauruses), so this alignment is auspicious. In Asia it looks like a smiley face, with the moon! These are some bad luck times, but maybe the swirling heavens can confer upon us some measure of good fortune. At the very least, they're pretty to look at. Click through for larger.
Dreaming of a White Christmas? It's L.A., so a Wet Christmas is the closest you're going to get. It rained last week, so who knows, you might be making puddle angels in the Vons Hollywood parking lot while Santa cruises through the lower atmosphere. Let's just hope Ol' St. Nick's entrances require fewer sonic booms than the Space Shuttle Endeavor.
During Obama's presser yesterday, he somehow found the time to call Nancy Reagan a wack job. While explaining that he'd been in touch with all the presidents, he clarified himself by saying "the living presidents," quipping that he "didn’t want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about, you know, doing any séances." Barack quickly apologized to the former First Lady, but should he have? No, Nancy didn't channel spirits in the White House. But she and her husband did rely heavily on astrologer Joan Quigley. Just because Nancy didn't go there, though, doesn't mean one recent former First Lady didn't get in touch with the dead.Nancy Reagan and astrologer/author Joan Quigley, and the two because close after Reagan was shot and almost killed, meeting each other on the Merv Griffin Show. When this became public, the Reagans reacted. Both the president and the first lady found themselves lying about how sympathetically they viewed astrology, and former chief of staff Don Regan's book was even attacked publicy by the Reagans for describing how closely they hewed to the stars for advice.
Brandon Holley, the last editor that Jane magazine would ever see (so sad! Still feel that hole in our hearts), did get a job it turns out! She has been secretly (well to us, not to her) working at Yahoo as "executive producer, Yahoo Lifestyles." This means that she is, for one of her duties, the astrology editor, which surely is a great and hilarious thing to edit. Like: "Can you make this totally-invented thing seemingly more accurate?"
New York got the total lunar eclipse this morning at 4:51 a.m., not long before moonset. If you're a hippie who believes in astrology, you can use it to excuse or explain anything bad, weird or confusing that has happened to you or the world recently. Handy! Right, Owen Wilson? (Or, if you're a crazed Pentecostal, you'll note that the blood-red moon presages"the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.") [AP, photo: Juddejah]
The rapper Foxy Brown, whose career probably peaked on 1997's Nas, Foxy Brown, AZ, and Nature Present The Firm: The Album, is in jail for violating her probation by smacking her neighbor with her BlackBerry. Her trial is set for September 5th, one day before her 28th birthday. Huh, she's a Virgo! According to astrologyzone.com, that means she's probably feeling the effects of August 28th's lunar eclipse. "Lunar eclipses bring endings, and alas, this one may be no exception." Bummer, Foxy.
