In 2007, Swedish artist Lars Vilks drew a series of cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a dog, with the intention of examining political correctness in art. He received international condemnation and death threats. Yesterday, he was attacked. Enough already.

The NYPD says: "See something, say something." Tonight, someone did! Police were tipped off to "something" suspicious in Times Square. The only problem is that "something" turned out to be "garbage." Everyone: Stop leaving your stuff around Times Square. [WNBC]

Jackie Ostermiller of Rexburg, Idaho, thought her cat loved her. But the cat had other plans—murderous plans. Luckily for all of us, the KIDK CBS 3 local news team was there get Jackie's story. And film the aftermath.

Floyd, a German shepherd with German "military-style training," recently bit his new owners' babysitter on the breast and hand. She's now suing. While under J-Lo's care, 2005-2007, the hound attacked a private jet stewardess. Why is Floyd so angry?

As earthquakes shake our core, this is the last thing we need. Another Naomi Campbell Attack. The volatile Fashion-edition KillRobot 5000 allegedly rapped her driver about the face and neck this afternoon, then fled into the New York streets. Beware.

Last week, Forbes columnist and NYU professor Tunku Varadarajan won our Outrage-off for his column about crazy Muslim murderers lurking amongst us. NYU radicals have struck back with a revolutionary pie-ing of Varadarajan's Islamaphobic allies!

No indication of the moon wobbling dangerously off its axis, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No huge chunks of the moon breaking off, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No angry aliens rising out of the moon's core in their battle crafts, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No reason to call out the Army's top secret interstellar fighting force. In contrast to this direct quote from NASA's director of nerd propaganda, yesterday:

Let's not forget that the hero Iraqi Shoe Hurler was a journalist before he became a footwear projectilist. A certain portion of his colleagues think he disgraced his profession. They're wrong. Let's go to Muntader's brand new explanatory op-ed!

First Jacques Chirac was mauled by his Maltese. And this morning, Lester Holt was viciously bitten on the face by a bloodthirsty young Rottweiler. When will we fight back against the canine menace?

It's only been one day, and already Muntader al-Zaidi, the Iraqi reporter who terrorized George W. Bush with high speed shoe projectiles, is already a full scale national hero. Viva los zapatos (in Arabic)!

Yesterday we told you that Anne Pressly, an Arkansas morning news anchorwoman who played an Ann Coulter-like pundit in the new Oliver Stone flick W, was attacked and stabbed in her home early Monday morning (she's now expected to recover). The crime has predictably attracted a lot of international attention: it involves a pretty woman, a journalist, Hollywood, and politics. So what new facts have we learned about the case today? None at all, really. Unless you ask the media, in which case, CONSPIRACY?!?!?: In a neat trick, various news outlets are now able to go with totally opposite angles on this story—based on no new facts, and also sometimes based upon the same exact sources! New York Post:

Anne Pressly, the anchorwoman of a 5 a.m. TV newscast in Little Rock, Arkansas, was attacked in her home, beaten, and stabbed some time early Monday morning. She's now in critical condition. Her other claim to fame: she played (a younger, more attractive) Ann Coulter in the new Oliver Stone flick W. And like the restaurant critic yesterday who was attacked in Albany, there seems to be some suspicion Pressly may have been specifically targeted:

A photographer for Flynet was innocently... doing something yesterday, when Nicole Kidman's bodyguard rushed up and brutally attacked him! The attack was, predictably, caught on film. It resembles a rhinoceros rushing a jeep full of tourists on an African safari. What made the bodyguard so angry isn't shown, but it does look like the photog got pretty bruised up from the attack. The full clip of the bull rush is after the jump; when will they learn to just throw projectiles from afar, instead of trying to pull the paparazzi out of their cars?

Oh, this is just bad. A black female reporter in South Carolina was standing on a street covering a crime story when she was attacked by an entire white family, yelling racial slurs [CNN]. The reporter, Charmayne Brown, was thrown down on the ground, punched, and, it appears, strangled a bit. The entire attack was caught on tape by another (white) TV crew on the scene. Which raises the point: WAY TO JUMP IN AND STOP THE ATTACK, RIVAL TV CAMERA CREW. Jesus. News is a rough business. The entire ugly video is below—Brown's own (black) cameraman helped pull her to safety, and she is fine.