From the winners to the losers, the "I'm an Actor!" introductions to the weird moments we just had to share with you, here's our video recap of last night's Screen Actor Guild Awards.
Sunday night is Hollywood's drunkest gilded night of the year, the annual bestowing of Golden Globe awards upon the golden people who rule the globe. Who will win? Who will lose? Let's go category by category making some predictions.
Perhaps Hollywood's most self-indulgent awards, for actors by actors, the SAGs are also often the best tea leaves to read to guess Oscar nominations. So pay attention! Here are this year's film and TV nominees.
The Golden Globes have been canceled due to the ongoing writers strike. "[T]he Hollywood Foreign Press Association instead will merely make an announcement of the winners," according to Nikki Finke. Exciting! We've learned to live without writers, but can we live without... awards shows? Do we want to live in that cold, red carpet-less place? With the football postseason drawing to a close, what will office pools be about in a world without awards shows? How will we know which forgotten character actors died last year without a mournful montage? What will the gays do? (Actually if they can manage to get a couple more awards shows canceled—and maybe replace them with encore presentations of the new American Gladiators—we might root for this strike to go on forever.) [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Panicked that the Emmys were rapidly approaching and they hadn't yet named a host for the awards telecast, Fox has convinced American Idol master of karaoke ceremonies Ryan Seacrest to borrow one of Ellen DeGeneres' tuxedos and assume emceeing duties for Hollywood's Third- Or Fourth-Biggest Night, Depending On How You Feel About The Globes And SAG Awards. While Seacrest's hosting bonafides are certainly beyond question—tens of millions of furiously texting teenage girls can't be wrong—those handling the production remind us why America is so crazy in love with Hollywood's hardest working man and offer a brief tease about the surprises they have in store for TV fans. Reports Var:
Several readers have written in to inquire about the identity of Hugh Jackman's friend "John," whom the actor thanked in his Emmy acceptance speech, pictured above at left (we hope) with Jackman's wife Deb. (At right, we hope.) Very cursory research reveals that this individual is probably John Palermo, Jackman's longtime assistant and current producing partner, though we are loathe to use the words "longtime" and "partner" in the same sentence and send your gossipy little tongues wagging even more pruriently. Really, on the happiest night of his life, can't a dude with a soft spot for musicals thank his longtime assistant and producing partner without the world reading into the relationship? You should all be ashamed of yourselves. It's not like he's Jackman's "personal trainer" or something.
· Variety reminds you about the Emmy moments you may have slept through: Lost takes best drama, Raymond best comedy, Felicity Huffman beats out her fellow Housewives, HBO nabs the most awards overall, and as best comedy writing award winner Mitch Hurwitz would like to remind you, Arrested Development plunges headlong into a third straight season of teetering on the brink of cancellation. [Variety]
· THR analyzes various Emmy wins, including Raymond's statue-hogging last gasp: "How did 'Raymond' pull the comedy series upset? My theory is that voters looked at 'Housewives,' thought to themselves, 'I like this show, but it isn't particularly funny,' and then went with their heart rather than their head..." In other words, ABC's scheme to submit DH as a comedy exploded in its face. [THR]
· More Emmys? Yeah, we got that: Celebs wear ugly flowers to honor the victims of Katrina, but largely avoid going all Kanye West during the show. However, the Bush administration is expected to give serious consideration to Blythe Danner's call to bring our soldiers back from Iraq, but ultimately will double over in laughter and light their cigars with money earmarked for hurricane relief. [Variety]
· Martin Sheen will leave the White House to executive produce a sitcom for NBC through Warner Bros. TV. Brace yourself for the ensuing hilarity: "The show is described as loosely based on a situation that occurred in Sheen's extended family whereby a heterosexual man found himself living with his gay older brother and his brother's lover, all three of which are tasked with taking care of the straight man's ailing mother-in-law. The mother-in-law, however, is a fundamentalist Christian and thus is kept in the dark about the true relationship between the gay couple." [THR]
· Project Greenlight update! First season winner Pete "Stolen Summer" Jones sells his comedy script, Hall Pass, to 20th Century Fox as a possible directing vehicle for the Farrelly brothers. [Variety]
Realizing that the only way to silence Emmy co-presenter Quentin Tarantino when he's coked up to his hairline is to shove a tongue down his throat, CSI star Marg Helgenberger bravely takes one for the team.
Yes, we know that we said that we were going to liveblog the Emmys telecast, but when the show opened with John Travolta recounting what it was like to accept an award on behalf of deceased The Boy in the the Plastic Bubble co-star Diana Hylund in 1977, we realized that no amount of alcohol would allow us to track three hours of profound boredom in real time, hit pause on the TiVo, and went to get a bite to eat. Oscar's crayon-eating little brother would have to wait. We returned, belly full, to distill the show into a collection of Emmy Moments, presented here in chronological order:
