"Call me Gabe Day, and not Gabe Day-Lewis/ Cause if you're trying to call me out I'm bout to Gabe Day Lose It/ Bitch, I know what my name is/ And shit I know what fame is/ Judging someone for their dad is just as bad as being racist." Your move, Chet Haze. [Noisey]

With the royal wedding just hours away and the resultant media coverage as frenzied as a pack of screeching women at a bachelorette party, we're all thinking a lot about weddings at the moment. I decided that I hate weddings, and here are some of the reasons why.

Babies! We all love cute little babies! You know who else loves babies? The Walt Disney Company. In fact, Disney loves babies so much that they've struck a deal to creep up on newborns and their parents in the hospital.

The red toxic sludge that has overtaken entire towns and killed people in Hungary today reached the Danube, Europe's second-longest river. But don't worry, Hungarian officials say the highly toxic alumina spill is no longer a threat to the environment.

The men who escaped from an Arizona prison last week are running around killing and burning people.

A charity network released a study of gay rights around the world and the results are terrifying: 76 countries prosecute people for their sexual orientation, and seven of those use the death penalty to punish same sex acts. [Independent]

So, here at SNL Digest, we're trying to have a hopeful, kind conversation about a show—and a tradition—we hold dear, the slope of its decline regardless. But last night's January Jones episode? One word: disaster. How disaster-y?

It was bound to happen eventually. The advertising industry, not satisfied with just paying off real rappers to mention Big Macs, has now released an entire rap album about advertising itself. "Strata G" is a copywriter in the Winston-Salem office of the Mullen agency , a fact he trumpets at length on "Straight Outta Winston," which combines the worst aspects of Vanilla Ice and the nerdcore movement. Viral marketing, son! After the jump, nod your head to G's nasal tones as he rhymes about his desire for ad industry awards, and reflect on how Hip-Hop went off the rails. [Adrants]