Hey guys! Can I have everyone's attention, please? Where's Heather? Does anyone know where Heather is? Well, can you go grab her? We've got a big announcement. Yes, that's right, we've decided to appoint an acting chief of Al Qaeda.

Who will al Qaeda choose as its leader now that Osama bin Laden is no longer with us? While Ayman al-Zawahiri, the terrorist group's second-in-command, seems a likely choice, others have suggested that the much younger—and more charismatic—Anwar al-Awlaki should take the post. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert made quite a case for youth over experience.