In just a few minutes, those invited to the first installment of CAA's two-day open house for its new Century City stronghold will self-park their cars, submit to a brief body-cavity search checking for explosives supplied by rival tenpercenteries (Paradigm's suicide bombers are particularly sneaky, as they really have nothing to lose), and then commence their tour of the evil agenting monolith's state-of-the-art facilities, gaping in wonder at their gleaming new Soul Containment Unit or enjoying a freshly blended refreshment from the cafeteria's dedicated baby-smoothie bar. But first, according to a tipster, all underlings must be driven from the building and onto the abandoned streets of The CC:

A Defamer operative, perhaps a little miffed that the two-day open house that CAA is holding later this week to show off the Wonkaesque inner workings of their intimidating new Century City Evil Factory might not feature valet service, slipped us these meticulously rendered self-parking instructions for its guests. (They're better off without the valets, anyway—they'd just force some junior agents into red coats for the event, who'd just ransack visitors' SUVs in a fruitless search for any concealed, delicious babies, then swipe all the loose change from their ashtrays.) But by making available such a detailed schematic, the agency has inadvertently exposed crucial vulnerabilities in their otherwise impenetrable stronghold; as you can clearly see in the above diagram, conspicuous yellow stars denote weak points in the structure's perimeter defenses, which determined teams of rebel forces from rival agencies may be able to exploit while CAA is distracted with the intake of legitimate invitees, destroying the Creative Artists Death Star from within before its roof-mounted doomsday laser is fully operational.