Everyone knows that injecting little kids with botox is bad, but what about injecting little kids with heroin? Yes, that is also a parenting "no-no," as alleged heroin dad Jose Paul Velasquez Jr. can tell you, possibly from jail.

The problem when discerning truth from fiction in the essential matter that's Lindsay Lohan's wellness is: all parties involved are fame-hungry. When estranged Michael Lohan wants to help his daughter, it almost elicits empathy. Almost. Except it just got scary.

In a touching coda to Father's Day, Britney Spears' father, Jamie, has petitioned the court to pay him for taking care of her. A real-life example of Chapter 5 of the Spears family parenting book, Their Personal Tragedy, Your Meal Ticket, Daddy Spears explained to the court exactly why he's owed $2500 a week for living with his daughter. The proud Papa was already awarded the weekly salary — plus money to lease a car — back in March. But that still left a month of pro bono parenting.

Just when we thought reality TV couldn't sink any lower, Fox has officially scraped the bottom of the cringeworthy barrel by ordering a JD Roth-produced pilot called Bad Dads. The series, originally titled Deadbeat Dads until Mike Darnell christened it with its new name, depicts divorced fathers who've refused to pay child support, ambushing them at their ritzy country clubs on camera and forcing them to pay up. Playing the Chris Hansen role is some guy from a child-protection agency, who will go so far as to "make their lives miserable - foreclose on their house...repossess their car...all for a noble cause"! Roth, the reality wunderkind behind The Biggest Loser and Beauty And The Geek, claims the series aims to provide "justice for women." Which sounds lovely, but how exactly will pointing out just how mean and "bad" men are week after week warm our hearts?