There’s a long tradition of parents rubbing whiskey on their babies’ gums to soothe teething pain. Pediatricians don’t recommend it, but it seems like American adults survived it relatively unscathed. Putting booze in a baby’s bottle, though, is a whole other thing.

A 16-year-old Arkansas boy filed harassment charges against his mother after she logged onto his Facebook account, changed his password, and posted slanderous things about him. She claims she was monitoring his behavior. No wonder he lives with his grandmother.

Are you related to someone famous who doesn’t really speak to you anymore? Do you have a dreadfully boring home life and children you constantly ignore? Have you collected an obscene number of pets, which constantly crap all over your house? Then you should call E! because that’s exactly what they’re into nowadays. On a day meant to honor the heroes who have protected our country, last night’s series premieres of Denise Richards: It’s Complicated and Living Lohan showed just how little there is left to protect.

The Times' "families use computers now" beat reporter, Facebook-loving helicopter mom Michelle Slatalla, is having another rough week. One of her little ones is leaving the nest!