Less than a week after the investigation into his wife's 30-year-old drowning death was reopened, Robert Wagner will play a man suspected of murdering a woman on tonight's episode of NCIS. What a coinkydink! The funny thing is that CBS' ancient viewers are the only ones who remember Natalie Wood—or Robert Wagner.

Here's why Huma Abedin, the digitally cuckolded wife of Anthony Weiner, has kept a low profile in the wake of her husband's humiliation and quietly signaled that their marriage will survive: She's in a family way.

Vogue covered the Middle East crisis with a puff piece on the "glamorous" wife of a brutal dictator. Now it's sister publication Condé Nast Traveler's turn: the magazine just published a guide to luxury travel in Libya.

By the way, Haitian presidential candidate Wyclef Jean owes the IRS $2.1 million. Doh!

The SEC's not the only government agency that parties hard: employees of the Minerals Management Service smoked meth, watched porn, and took gifts from the industry they were supposed to be regulating—the offshore drillers! SEC guys are pussies! [AP]

Christmas canceled: Santa Claus gets 20 years for sex crimes.

This week is Elevator Safety Week in New York City. Jesus, the timing.

Why'd Scientology unveil their new Washington D.C. "Ideal Org" on Halloween, of all days? 'Guess the wide public perception of Scientology being spooky-sketchy hasn't taken. Whatever the incentive: it's pissing off commuters, being protested, and—naturally—has Anonymous spies inside.

"Do you love chocolate almost as much as you love diamonds?" Yes, and??? Long have I waited to meet others like me: Wealthy lovers of gaudy jewels and cheap candy. If only...

The finale of Fox's Hell's Kitchen was last night. We won't tell you who won the competition, but "Most Awkward" prize goes to now-dead Gourmet magazine, which was prominently featured in the show! Click to watch the painful highlight clip.

Scripps—the company that closed the Rocky Mountain News and posted a $220 million loss last quarter—is opening its brand new, $95 million headquarters for the Naples (FL) Daily News. It is the worst newspaper business thing ever.

MSNBC's Peter Alexander concludes an interview today with the president of the NAACP by noting, "The president honors this country's colored people." Nilla! Shortly afterwards Alexander apologized, which was even more amusing.

While you might expect to be mildly offended by the people behind Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, it's usually because they're coming out with more movies rather than because of anything in the films themselves. Now, though, they've made the classy move of premiering their latest spoof, Disaster Movie, on August 29th — the third anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

This is a news report from an Arizona TV station with actual footage of Village Voice media CEO and asshole-in-charge Mike Lacey at an awards dinner last week, where he called a white journalist friend "my nigger" during an acceptance speech (the word is bleeped, but YOU know what he says). This report nicely juxtaposes Lacey's comment with the other item of business at the awards dinner: the 82-year-old mother of recently deceased black journalist Bob Moran accepting an award on his behalf. Classy. At least Lacey prefaces his comment with "if you don't mind the expression...," which is always a bad sign. Click to watch the clip.

Boston is trying to become fashionable! (Have they been speaking with noted Boston fashion maven and Times CEO Janet Robinson?) Boston Fashion Week "serves as a platform for both established industry professionals and aspiring newcomers to showcase the great wealth of local talent," according to the event's frame-happy website. Except there's one little problem, as a reader points out: "It's being held, oops, at the same time as New York Fashion Week. Which means that none of Boston's most important buyers, editors, or fashion advertisers will even be in town. And which means that the rest of the world won't be paying attention anyway." Aw, Boston. That whole thinking you're the Hub of the universe thing might be backfiring.