Today little men take on big roles, J.Lo finds her vampiric costar, Gore Vebinski takes a breather for himself, Leah Remini glows like moondust, and old people get it on in hilarious fashion.

Hm. Only the Washington Post would call a White House job "the ultimate status symbol in [a] generation's caste system," but regardless: all the Obama kids need work.

If you're planning to spend the summer on Martha's Vineyard, your vacation may turn out to be a bit less peaceful this year. WWD reports that the Obamas are thinking about visiting the isle for a little R&R this summer: "Secret Service agents have been spotted casing Martha's Vineyard for what is said to be a late-August two-week getaway. The First Family's destination is believed to be East Chop, the sleepier side of Oak Bluffs." So when you see helicopters in the sky, paparazzi hanging out on the beach, and the occasional motorcade streak through Edgartown, now you know why. [WWD]

Barack Obama went to Baghdad today, where he was greeted by cheering troops, who seemed a little bit happier, and a lot less white, than they did when Bush came around to promise more wars.

Someone didn't get the memo about Barack Obama being a Muslim. A Syrian man was arrested today in Turkey in connection with a plot to kill Obama during his visit to the country.

The family of Air Force Staff Sgt. Phillip Myers, 30, authorized news media coverage of the return of Myers' body from Afghanistan. The coverage was the first of its kind of 18 years.

Last Friday, the CEOs of 15 of the biggest banks headed to Washington to meet with the president and discuss the financial crisis and the rising anger and frustration on the part of the public. The attendees went to great lengths to describe the meeting as friendly and productive. But it was hard to imagine how warm and fuzzy it could have been given it was also painfully clear that much of the frustration had been exacerbated by the banks themselves by, say, taking billions from Washington and then spending it things like new office suites. Well, it turns out it wasn't such a fun encounter after all, according to one person who attended the session and described what went down to Politico.

The governor of South Carolina will accept the stimulus money and France will take ONE Guantanamo prisoner off our hands.

You've heard about the fried chicken restaurants that have been renaming themselves in honor of Barack Obama, haven't you? At least three spots have adopted the president's name in recent months, and while it isn't illegal to do so per the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, some people are a little miffed about it. Like City Councilman Charles Barron. He's giving one restaurant until Monday to change its awning or else he'll organize a protest. The game of chicken begins, it seems. [AMNY, TSG]

Disappointingly for observers of the goings-on at the G-20 Summit, Carla Bruni Sarkozy wasn't present, so while the media feigned enthusiasm at the task of judging Michelle Obama's outfits alongside the other First Ladies', it really wasn't much of a competition. Thank goodness, then, that the Obamas are now in France with the Sarkozys, and are faced, as one serious-minded journalist sees it, with a challenge of equal weight: Our president will use the NATO Summit to lobby for more help for allied troops in Afghanistan, and his wife will try with all her might to usurp Carla as the most glamorous First Lady on the planet.

Because Congressional Republicans aren't recalcitrant enough already, the House Speaker took away smokers' precious havens inside the the U.S. Capitol complex, House side. Truly, all smokers are now instruments of satan, officially.

President Change is in London with a bunch of other world leaders at the G20 summit, trying to save the world! A reporter asked him if his meetings represented a "break" from Bush's foreign policy.

• Details on what's been discussed—and what's on the agenda—as President Obama meets other world leaders at the G-20 in London. [BN, NYT, WSJ]
• The House has approved yet another bill to restrict bonuses and compensation at financial firms that have received bailout money. [NYT]
• Former AIG CEO Hank Greenberg will give testimony in front of a congressional panel in Washington today. [WSJ, CNN]
• The number of U.S. workers filing new claims for jobless benefits surged to a nearly 26-year high last week. [Reuters]
• The Justice Department has opened about 100 criminal investigations into wealthy Americans who skirted tax laws as clients of UBS. [Dealbook]
• Real estate prices in NYC have taken a big hit thanks to Wall Street. [Reuters]
• Good news: hedge funds are back in the game, it seems. After a lousy 2008, investors are "tentatively returning to the sector," report some. [FT]

President Messiah's iPod gift to queen was loaded with his own speeches. Presumptuous, still.

As great as this picture of Gordon Brown gazing on Barack Obama is (click for another pic), the Daily Mail's purple prose is even better:

Man, our screw-up president. What did he do this time? He insulted the Queen of England with another one of his boneheaded lame "gifts!"

So President Obama and all the European leaders are getting together to solve global terrorism, reverse the economic disaster, and "foster world unity." Not that we don't have the utmost faith that a bunch of men in suits can perform those miracles, but it's a relief to see that the international media has its priorities straight and is focusing on the real issues. Namely: How will the various First Ladies compare in the fashion stakes, is Michelle going to bare her famous arms, and how does one behave in front of the Queen of England?

Republicans had hoped they could steal Democratic Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's old upstate House seat and thus make the president fail a REFERENDUM on his policies. Instead the candidates ended election night 65 votes apart.

• The private sector lost 742,000 jobs during the month of March, substantially more than analysts had been predicting. [WSJ, CNN]
• President Obama has indicated that he believes a "quick, negotiated bankruptcy" will be the most likely path for General Motors. [BN]
• The not-so-optimistic employment figures and increased concern about the future of GM may lead to a rough day in the markets. [BN]
• Mark Carhart and Raymond Iwanowski of Goldman's Alpha hedge fund are retiring. Rumor now has it they may end up at KKR. [Clusterstock]
• A dozen criminal investigations into bailout fraud are now underway. [FT]
• Remember when Cerberus founder Steve Feinberg was "hailed as a hero" who "might save the American car industry"? So much for that idea. [NYT]
• UBS is closing its "art banking" department, not surprisingly. [AP]
• This is a particularly dangerous time to be a CEO, clearly. [NYP]

Politico.com has concluded a groundbreaking investigation into the cars owned President Obama's cabinet members and top aides. And what did they find? A very sorry state of affairs, that's what. Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner is the proud owner of a 2008 entry-level Acura TSX, and he previously owned a 1999 Honda Accord, none of which is entirely surprising considering he's worked government jobs his whole life, has an atrociously designed home, and has lousy taste in ties, too. Larry Summers, however, will have a harder time excusing his 1995 Mazda Protégé (or his previous car, a 1996 Ford Taurus GL), since he worked for David Shaw's hedge fund for long enough to invest in a 3-series BMW (at least one that was manufactured at a plant in the U.S.) Naturally, the one person noticeably absent from Politico's list is the one that matters most: Steve Rattner, the man appointed by President Obama to redeem the American auto industry. But it's not all that complicated to determine at least one of the cars in Rattner's fleet. The couple's 2006 black Mercedes-Benz 350 (New York license plate #CSL1498!) was entered into the public record when his wife, Maureen White, was arrested for drunk driving last October.