Hotmess Courtney Love reports that hotmess Britney Spears was molested as a kid. Usher is a girlyman. Captain Scuzzybutt Esq. will make Page Six one day. Natalie Portman's "tits." Barbara Cocoran's PR team. Presenting your late-edition Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:
• Rosie O'Donnell told Howard Stern yesterday that she "had a chance to romance" Angelina Jolie back when they were both single and they talked on the phone a few times, but they never ended going out for dinner as planned, alas. She also says Petra Nemcova once sent her "love signals" when the model was a guest on Rosie's talk show, but she didn't capitalize on that opportunity either. Rosie has a new satellite radio show launching next week, so don't be surprised if more of these missed love connections surface in the coming days. [NYDN, CM]
• In other creepy celebrity sex news, a new book by controversial biographer Andrew Morton claims that Angelina Jolie slept with her mother's live-in boyfriend when she was 16 years old. And a second Jolie tell-all, to be published on December 1, claims Angie once contemplated suicide, has a history of heroin use, and, when it comes to her relationship with Brad Pitt, has "successfully manipulated the public into believing a glamorous fairytale that bears little resemblance to the reality of the pair's life together." [DM, Us]
• Ashley Dupre popped by Scores last Saturday night. She didn't strip, but she did make out with her new boyfriend PJ all night, so patrons of the strip club didn't go home totally empty-handed. [P6]
Real estate legend Barbara Corcoran turns 60 today. Nobuyuki Matsuhisa is turning 60 today, too. Sharon Stone is 51. Record producer Rick Rubin is turning 46. Model Eva Herzigova is 36. Timbaland is 38. Prince Edward is 45. Edie Brickell is turning 43. Carrie Underwood is 26. Mad Men star Jon Hamm is 38. CNBC's David Faber is turning 45. Actress Olivia Wilde is 25. Chuck Norris is 69. And deep in a cave on the border of Afghanistan and Pakistan, Osama bin Laden is celebrating his 52nd birthday.
♦ Two months after buying a townhouse in Brooklyn, Barbara Corcoran has reportedly purchased two more multiple-residence brownstones in the borough. [Page Six]
♦ Highside Capital principal David Thomas and his wife, Economist correspondent Joanne Ramos, have paid $5.59 million for a four-bedroom condo in the Fischer Mills Building in Tribeca. [Cityfile]
♦ Gramercy Capital COO Bob Foley paid $3.5 million for an two-bedroom loft on the 18th-floor of 15 Madison Square North. [Cityfile]
» Claude Wasserstein (left), who has been separated from financier Bruce Wasserstein since last year, has purchased the 7,000-square-foot duplex penthouse at 995 Fifth Avenue, which was listed at $47.5 million. Her new neighbors in the building will include socialite Daphne Guinness and Philosophy cosmetics founder Cristina Carlino. [Update: The purchase price was $34 million according to TRD.] [NYT]
» Barbara Corcoran paid $1.46 million for a 4,000-square-foot townhouse at 408 Stuyvesant Avenue in Brooklyn. The home had originally been on the market for $2.1 million in late 2006. [Real Deal]
» The Long Island home once owned by Alistair Cooke, the BBC journalist who died in 2004, has been put on the market at $5.2 mil. The four-bedroom house sits on 1.4 acres overlooking Peconic Bay. [Newsday]
The bubbly, self-proclaimed real estate queen founded the Corcoran Group in 1978 and sold her stake in 2001. These days she bops around as a columnist, pundit, and star on Shark Tank.
Barbara Corcoran, the wondrous strange founder of the real estate brokerage house Corcoran Group, is joining the Daily News this Friday. As per the press release, "Her new weekly column, 'Ask Barbara,' will debut September 7 in the Daily News Your Home section." The section "is a weekly guide to finding, furnishing and enjoying a home in the tri-state area." This seems like the least money-making idea she's ever had—worse than the low-paying CNBC gig.
John Stossel may have gotten an eyeful as he dined at the Central Park Boathouse recently. The "20/20" investigator was at a table close to Barbara Corcoran when friends told the real-estate royal she'd lost weight. "Show us your butt," cried one, and Corcoran obliged, dropping trou ...
• How can you not love Nicole Richie? The saintly thing can't help but share every last sprinkle of blow she's got. [Defamer]
• The reservation line for Mr. Chow's Tribeca outpost is up and running; even if you're nobody, you can snag a table for Saturday's opening. [Eater]
• After reading an interview in which Barbara Corcoran talks about overcoming dyslexia to become the wicked queen of the housing bubble, we have to wonder: Is the Corcobeast the Tom Cruise of real estate? [Bankrate]
• At this point, what hasn't Kaavya Viswanathan plagiarized? [Crimson]
• Providence, R.I., actually manages to outdo Williamsburg in the retarded irony department. [You Tube]
• Scientology digs its claws into Janeane Garofolo. Is no one safe? [Scoop]
• Memoirist Augusten Burroughs likens the James Frey boondoggle to Milli Vanilli. Wrong! Milli Vanilli is far superior, simply by virtue of their hair. [Book Standard]
• The Smoking Gun pulls through with documents from Sopranos actor John Ventimiglia's arrest, complete with an impressive six counts of being totally fucked up. [TSG]
The Corco-devil (we really just love the sound of it and resist change) has been hard at work, it seems — and not just ensuring that no pleb will ever live in Manhattan or preparing for her new television projects. She's blogging about it, too. More disturbingly, she writes in the voice of an imaginary mouse and thus refers to herself in the third person: "Barbara (proprietress of said pink house), will be moving to a brand new office in West Chelsea next week." Oh, how adorable.
The carnivorous hun of real estate, Barbara Corcoran, is interviewed in the latest Time Out New York; as it turns out, she rather likes it when we call her the Corcodevil. We suppose this means we have to think of a new nickname. Bitch just totally ruined it for us.
The Washington Post takes a look at the current crop of real estate-centered reality television shows, noting that if we're watching real estate rather than buying it, perhaps the habitat bubble of darkness truly is deflating. Nevertheless, the Queen says otherwise:
• Those News Corp kids sure do know how to throw an incredibly odd Christmas party. Weirdness aside, things were moments of normalcy: after the picture at right was taken, she ended up in the broom closet with dude dressed like a giant beaver-like thing.
• It was inevitable, really, that LIRR tickets ended up on eBay. Go ahead and collect your little piece of hell! [eBay]
• In the meantime, the TWU and MTA mediators are kinda passing notes back and forth, but it might not last long if the authorities jail union folk. [Gothamist]
• Tomorrow at 12:30, you should probably go meet this freak on a corner and sumo wrestle him. [Craigslist]
• The world's best Christmas list always starts with a request for one-night stands who appear with perfect boners. [NYO]
• How to kill yourself like a man. [The Best Page in the World]
• Maybe we missed something, but how, why and when the hell did the New Yorker make Bill O'Reilly's blacklist? [BillOReilly.com]
• Why Jews secretly love Christmas. [Pdhyman]
• We always knew Oprah was to blame for America's reading crisis. Bitch. [n+1]
• Pac-Manhattan hits the University of Michigan, becomes just reality Pac-Man. So that means this stuff takes approximately two years to trickle towards the Great Lakes. [Boing Boing]
• If you win a prize involving financial support from evil realtor Barbara Corcoran, is it really winning at all? [GMA]
• We've spent all weekend ignoring real estate harpy Barbara Corcoran's secret hideaway as featured in the Times, as we didn't want to express our rage at the cost of our "wit." Alas, time hasn't helped our case. So: NICE FUCKING PLACE. Did you sell it to yourself? Did you charge yourself a big sexy broker fee? We bet you did, you dirty little wench. [NYT]
• Is Kate Moss in Scottsdale, AZ right now? Golly, isn't the Meadows rehab right by there? [Oh No They Didn't]
• A reader reports of danger within the kitchen of Da Silvano: A Saturday night serving of lobster led to some nasty food poisoning. Graydon Carter, take note.
• James Frey kills Harry Potter. [Daily Transom]
• Big Pussy walks. No, not yours. Perv. [CityRag]
• Brian Sack sits down with the genius behind the Geico "tiny house" commercial. [Banterist]
• It's the Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Dummies Books for Dummies. [Baltimore Sun]
• We knew LES stand-by Tonic was sacrificed in the name of condominium development. What we didn't know, however, was that the complex was going to be big, blue, and from planet fugly. [Curbed]
• Beware the Fire Island Shake & Bake. And no, it doesn't involve getting stoned in the Meat Rack. [Datalounge]
• You, too, can create a media tizzy about a non-existent meth problem — now in your hometown! [Meth Mouth]
• So when, exactly, will all these money men vacate Midtown? [NYT]
• The CorcoDevil eyes reality television. And Mark Burnett wept. [NYO]
Holy fuck. Barbara Corcoran is quitting the real-estate business. The Observer's "The Real Estate" blog, which just broke the news, says that she's leaving the Corcoran Group to found — wait for it — a television-production company.
