Different balls have different weights, Alex Rodriguez learned on Sunday.

Wow—you like the Mets? Okay—congrats. A thousand apologies for my failure to immediately fall to my knees and worship your great moral courage.

A nine-year-old who spent the summer working as bat boy for Kansas collegiate baseball team the Liberal Bee Jays died Sunday evening, one day after he was hit in the head by a warmup swing during a National Baseball Congress World Series game.

On Friday, the New York Yankee’s Alex Rodriguez hit a home run for his 3,000th career hit. As soon as a fan named Zack Hample caught the ball, a drumbeat began: Hample should give the ball back to Rodriguez. No!

After tonight—or as of yesterday, depending on the rain—Derek Jeter will have played his final game in Yankee Stadium. It's as fine a time as any to note, for the record, that Derek Jeter was an OK ballplayer. He was pretty good at playing baseball, overall, and he did it for a pretty long time.

In 1979, the Chicago White Sox hosted Disco Demolition Night, inviting fans to bring disco records to Comiskey Park, then blowing them up on the field between doubleheader games. Saturday, a minor league franchise will destroy a bunch of Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber CDs in an attempt to replicate the zany stunt.

George Will, national treasure, has spent a life championing America's diamond pastime. He wants to make sure that you appreciate our other cherished pastime: "the ambiguities of the hookup culture, this cocktail of hormones." Hang on to your Cracker Jack, gents.

Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson's skills include rapping, surviving gunshot wounds, never masturbating , and clowning on Solange and Jay Z . But, as we saw Tuesday night at the Mets-Pirates game, they don't extend to pitching. The announcers generously described 50's ceremonial first pitch as "a little outside."

Houston Astros prospect Conrad Gregor, playing for the Quad City River Bandits, launched his first home run of the season over the right-center field fence Saturday night, where a fan caught the ball and held it up. But not just any fan.

A 10-year-old who caught a foul ball at Friday's game between Toronto and Texas looked great in front of the cameras when he offered it to the attractive 20-something ladies sitting behind him. Smooth, little Casanova. Very smooth.

Miles Scott, otherwise known as Batkid, throws the first pitch next to Regular Batman before an opening day game between the San Francisco Giants and the Arizona Diamondbacks on Tuesday in San Francisco. Image via Eric Risberg, Pool/AP.

"Nostalgia's a fad," Stan Kasten, then president of the Atlanta Braves, said in 1996. "This is classic." He was talking about the brand-new Centennial Olympic Stadium, which was designed to be converted after the Atlanta Olympics into a state-of-the-art baseball stadium for the Braves, at a total construction cost of $209 million.

[With a score of 6-1 the Boston Red Sox beat the St. Louis Cardinals in Game Six to win the World Series in Boston Wednesday night. It's been 95 years since the Red Sox won the World Series at Fenway Park. Photo by Matt Slocum via AP]

As baseball's regular season nears its end, here is a highlight reel celebrating the hideous souvenir-crazed monsters who grab balls away from young children in the stands.

The New York Times today alerted its readers to the urgent political news that Bill de Blasio, the current maybe co-front-runner for the Democratic mayoral nomination, identifies as a fan of the Boston Red Sox. According to the paper, tradition appears to require that the city's chief executive be a fan of the Yankees. Javier C. Hernandez writes:

The keen-eyed balk-hunters at Barstool Sports noticed an extremely illegal move taking place during yesterday's Yankees-Angels game and uploaded it to YouTube for posterity.

R.A. Dickey, a starting pitcher for the New York Mets, earned his 20th win of the season two nights ago. Now everyone is talking about him, and you are standing off to the side smiling and nodding like an idiot because you thought the Met was a museum. You're a nerd, it's fine, but we wanted to help you out: Here, Deadspin's Jack Dickey (no relation, just obsession) breaks down the wonder that is R.A. Dickey's 2012 season.

I don't know much about sports, but I do know everyone wants to see an image of Washington Nationals rookie Bryce Harper up to bat with blood dripping down his face.

A brilliant neutron star winked out of existence today, when grammar-challenged baseball player Jose Canseco abruptly shut down his wonderful Twitter account. But "Jose Canseco" is not currently trending on Twitter, probably because anyone who would be tweeting about it is on the floor weeping.