NASA is holding a contest to name the "wakeup songs" played during the last-ever Space Shuttle missions. You can submit an original composition, or pick from a list of songs. The problem: They all suck. The solution: These 10 tracks.

Some have suggested we observe Bastille Day by giving a shoutout to local Frenchepreneur Loic Le Meur. Sorry, Loic, but we still think you're a guy from Kentucky with a convincingly fake accent. Instead, we're saluting Jean-Louis Gassé. I know what the non-olds among the audience are thinking right now: Qui? Gassé was a quote-slinging controversialist who famously sparred with Steve Jobs at Apple, wore an earring and a leather jacket, and talked to Wired about his nipples. Like Jobs, he left Apple to launch a hardware startup that turned into a software startup, Be Inc.

This was such a magical week for comments, you guys. Seriously! (A circle jerk of hilarity amid the vituperation!) We sometimes found ourselves laughing so hard we cried. Laughing and crying, you know, it's the same release.