Here's some happy news for germaphobes: your belly button, or "umbilicus" as scientists call it, is absolutely filthy, with over 2,000 different types of bacteria living in it. As ABC News puts it, this "means you have more kinds of bacteria in your belly button than there are different kinds of ants or birds in North America."

Brandon Beasley woke up one morning with a dream: to break the world record for the most quarters stuck inside one's belly button. In this video, Beasley acts on his vision by placing 20 of the coins into his stomach.

Banking heir and "techno music star" Ivan Wilzig had a tummy ache one day. Suddenly his innie bellybutton exploded into an outie—filled, presumably, with his guts. The process nearly killed him. This is his harrowing absurdist story.

Jersey Shore hooch JWOWW is one fit lady, so you'd think her body wouldn't warrant too much retouching for this new Maxim spread. Yet they inexplicably erased her belly button. Maybe it was just to get rid of the bling?

Scientists say that athletic success is actually determined by the position of your bellybutton on your torso; genetic bellybutton location differences account for white dominance in swimming, and West African dominance in running. Standup comedians are pretty embarrassed right now.