For the past three Decembers, the highlight of our Hollywood Holiday Card feature* has been watching management/production entity Benderspink's annual holiday card evolve from cut-rate Apprentice parody to disturbing, Giant Santa molestation fantasy to this year's surpassing achievement, a handsomely designed faux Us Weekly spread celebrating day-to-day life at the company, assistant-bludgeoning warts and all. Easily our favorite part of this mini-tour of the Benderspink offices is the They Develop Screenplays With Writers! panel, in which partner Chris Bender demonstrates the kind of mastery of three-act structure that will help shepherd upcoming prestige project Boob Job to incredible success.

The Million Little Piecesgate shitstorm continues to rage you don't make Oprah, Queen of the Universe, look stupid without some serious consequences with threatening letters from legal pitbull Marty Singer flying (we feel your pain, Smoking Gun), the first brusque responses from accused memoir embellishist James Frey posted to his website ("I won t dignify this bullshit with any sort of further response,"), with further bullshit non-dignification to follow on his Larry King appearance tonight. And lest we not forget the JT Leroy scandal, which serendipitously (for trend watchers, at least) broke on the very same day: According to the NY Times, the supposedly HIV+ male truck-stop hooker turned memoirist and literary darling is a complete fabrication and played by a woman. With both authors' books in various stages of movie development, THR examines what effect the scandals will have on the productions, if any. In doing so, they stumble onto a fascinating philosophical dialogue on the ultimate nature of truth (as it applies to getting your movie made):

We're happy to reintroduce our Hollywood Holiday Cards feature with this year's offering from the mud-wrestlin', wall-climbin', Beer-Pong-brawlin' management/production entity Benderspink, who most recently paralyzed us with comedic delight by burying cinematic treasure Ryan Reynolds in latex for Just Friends. We much prefer this 2005 sequel to last year's somewhat stale Apprentice parody, a set-up that can either play as a cute Christmas tableaux of Santa cavorting with kids on his Nice List, or the horrifying moment immediately preceding the giant Claus Kong's bloody rampage through a pajama-themed industry orgy.