Exciting news, Madofficionados! Yet another chance to own a piece of America's little Ponzi-schemin' dumpling is soon upon us. 58 lots from Bernard Madoff's personal wine cellar — hand-selected, the auction house director tells the NY Post, by someone who was "clearly not a connoisseur" — will hit the auction block next week.

The New York Times interviewed a "noticeably" thinner Bernie Madoff in prison and, wouldn't you know it, he said that "unidentified banks and hedge funds were somehow 'complicit' in his elaborate fraud," and also this:

Earlier today, the U.S. Marshall's Service previewed nearly 500 possessions of Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff and his wife, Ruth, that it will auction off on Saturday. Up for grabs: a bed, piano, 10-carat diamond ring, and shoes. Lots of shoes.

Walter Noel, the hedge fund manager who basically funneled his clients' money straight to Bernie Madoff, is on the hook for $3.2 billion in funny money his firm withdrew from Madoff before the fraud unraveled.

Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal's dad wants Bernie Madoff released from jail.

The New York Times' David Segal has gone to Palm Beach, the collapsing redoubt of vile and petty aristocrats, and brings an alternatively joyous and revolting tale of corroded souls and disappearing fortunes.

According to a new poll, a whopping four in ten American Jews reported some connection to Most Loathsome Financial Villain Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme. This is because all Jews know one another.

You've disappointed us, but we shall abide by the will of the People: Bernard Madoff won our poll to identify the face of the New Depression with 29% of the vote.

Bernie Madoff is still at large. Prosecutors are trying to get the financier, accused of running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme, thrown in jail for mailing valuables to his brother. Including mittens!

If and/or when Hollywood makes the definitive movie about victims of Bernard Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme, we're sad to report that Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick can be recruited to play themselves.

Shana Madoff, whose uncle Bernie Madoff stands accused of defrauding investors of $50 billion, is the wife of Eric Swanson, a former top lawyer at the Securities and Exchange Commission. A goy, but well-placed!

Who, exactly, are the rich suckers who just got bilked out of $50 billion (collectively) by Hedge Fund Hustler extraordinaire Bernie Madoff? Here are the names we know so far: