The Federal Trade Commission is asking federal judges in six states to shut down a total of 10 "fake news websites" that front as credible journalism outlets but really just hype the AMAZING WEIGHT-LOSS POTENTIAL OF ACAI BERRIES ™ !!!!!

The Radar magazine contributor is something of a man about town, but even we were surprised to see him show up at our office, delivering the aforementioned magic berries that Hamilton ordered, like a common coke dealer. So we asked him what was up! Does the pay at Radar suck? "Nah... beats freelancing," he says. We got the rundown on his berry-selling ring: