Police in Stockholm have reportedly discovered drugs and a stun gun on the tour bus of World’s Worst Baby Monkey Mother Justin Bieber.

Well-adjusted teen Justin Bieber posted a fun image to Instagram yesterday: a drawing of him, nude, cuddling in post-coital bliss with an anonymous fan, also nude (and helpfully labeled "BELIEBER"). He posted it to his feed without comment, leading hundreds of thousands of anonymous teenage girls to conjecture that the girl in the image represented them, specifically.

Justin Bieber is a tiny adult. But he's also one of the most famous people in the world and is thus impervious to consequences. One thing you can do as a tiny adult impervious to consequences that you can't do as a tiny adult subject to consequences (like, say, myself) is punch most people, including an ex-Israeli soldier who is your bodyguard. Such are the privileges of being young and famous.