If ever there were a time that I wanted to see the receipts, it is now. I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. A 52-year-old Mexican man, Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, went viral recently for claiming he has a 19-inch penis. While that might make him the owner of the world’s biggest dick (who can ever be sure, though?), he is supposedly miserable. The Huffington Post reported on Saturday:
Please if you would, allow me to tell you the tale of how one murderous convict—armed with only a big dick and an artist’s temperament—painted his way to freedom. Ahhh, mon cherie, quel monde merveilleux.
How did two convicted murderers escape from a maximum security prison this weekend? Who is Tillie, and did she betray her husband for a big-dicked con? Will we ever find out how big the other guy’s dick is? Here’s everything we know about the killers and their flirty escape.
Big-ass dicks—huh! What are they good for? Absolutely nothing, according to the true confessions of little-dick enthusiast Monique Anderson. Well, to each her (or his) own in matters of dick physics and aesthetics, but she brings up some good points here.
When it comes to NBC's news-reading Ken doll Brian Williams, we rarely get to see anything below the waist. That's a shame because he says that he's keeping something (ahem) big from viewers.
A 30-year-old Florida man, Matthew Magnus, was arrested last week for unleashing his self-described "biggest penis in the world" on a crowd of adults and children several times. Police found him in his apartment surrounded by dog shit and cocaine.
Paris is back, bitches. Art Garfunkel: kind of a bitch. Ann Landers went to Scores with JFK Jr. Diane von Furstenburg's been drinking Pimp Juice. Sammy Sosa: white. Metal weddings: black. Michael Moore: fat. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup!
