Because the internet is a miraculous place where revenge fantasies come true , Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones are selling video of themselves chatting about former president Bill Clinton and his sexual predation. Flowers, you'll recall, described during Clinton's 1992 presidential campaign a 12-year affair with him, while Jones accused Clinton of exposing himself to her in a hotel room in 1991. Hence the interview segments — $1.99 each — entitled "Paula And The President's Penis" and "Gennifer's Story And The Presidential Penis." There are five other segments, meaning the full video will run you $14. But the Guardian gives it a limp review:

There is a rumor going around that Bill Clinton totes kissed Gina Gershon. Perhaps you first heard of this rumor here? 30,000 of you might have. This rumor got reported as one of the many things unnamed Clinton "advisors" were worried about in the recent Vanity Fair piece about Bill Clinton's messy business dealings and possibly scandalous personal life. Which led to Bill calling the piece's reporter a "scumbag" and now, because of the heat and probably because of Britney Spears' tears-of-a-clown-car, popular actress Gina Gershon denied sexing the former president on Regis and Kelly this morning. This is, of course, Ron Burkle's fault.

Minutes after New York Senator Hillary Clinton sent an email to her supporters ending her campaign, President Clinton changed his Facebook profile relationship status from "Married" to "It's Complicated." He also added that he was now looking for "friendship," "dating," and "a relationship." We're guessing Bill Clinton doesn't actually update his own Facebook page and that the changes were more likely a frustrated campaign supporter's way of venting. (Update: Or maybe a satirical blogger's.) Asked by a "reporter" about the change, campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson answered: "What can I tell you? It's complicated."

• Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter blasts back at Clinton: "The responses from the former president and his camp are very saddening in their own ways. Characteristic, but nevertheless shocking." [Observer]

Bill Clinton—subject of a hostile profile in Vanity Fair—claimed Esquire's David Granger told him the piece was sleazy. Except it wasn't Granger who emailed, but one of his junior editors; and the recipient wasn't Clinton, but one of the former president's staffers. (Details have never been Clinton's strong point: after all, he claimed he'd never had sexual relations with that woman.) [Politico]

One day and about 1 million interpretations after Vanity Fair dared to suggest Bill Clinton sometimes thinks with his dick, Gina Gershon has launched a crusade to scrub her name off the list of the ex-president's rumored paramours. Or, more specifically, Gershon's pit-bull counsel at Hollywood firm Lavely & Singer has launched a crusade on her behalf, and they all seem a bit peeved:

• Esquire's editor-in-chief David Granger says he never got a call from Bill Clinton, as the former president suggested in his comments last night when he was asked to respond to the incendiary Vanity Fair story by Todd Purdum. Turns out it was a measly staff editor who emailed. [Politico]

Bill Clinton has become an embarrassment to his party, friends, and family, with his tone-deaf angry tirades and bizarre rhetorical missteps and also his habit of globe-trotting with scummy over-sexed billionaires. But if you tell him this, he becomes quite angry! Todd Purdum, who, despite being married to a former Clinton staffer, has written a number of negative things about Clinton over the years, is now the target of a raging tirade by the former president. All because he insinuated some untoward things using dozens of unnamed anonymous sources in Vanity Fair! Now Purdum has responded (clip attached). So. What did the article do wrong? And what did Clinton get wrong? And, uh, what the hell happened to the guy?

Audio emerged tonight of former President Bill Clinton calling Vanity Fair writer Todd Purdum a "sleazy... dishonest... slimy... scumbag." Former Times reporter Purdum, of course, is the guy who wrote the just-released article about how Clinton is running around the world on private jets, including one called "Air Fuck One," with billionaire scuzzballs like Ron Burkle, Steve Bing and Jeffrey Epstein. Clinton told a Huffington Post reporter Purdum was awful, and that the Vanity Fair piece has "five or six blatant lies," but then added he had never read it. But that didn't stop him from continuing to trash it, nor did the fact that Purdum is married to Clinton's former press secretary Dee Dee Myers. Audio after the jump, along with a text summary.

As we learned in Vanity Fair yesterday, Bill Clinton has spent his post-presidential life gallivanting about the world with a small cadre of scummy billionaires. All aging boomers, all sadly unwilling to mature, all addicted to sex with women a third their age. Who are they? What do they want from us? (Hint: if you are a girl aged 14-22, they want to have sex with you.) Let's meet the whole crew! They are just like Entourage except gross old billionaires.

Just in time to wring the last drop of anemic lifeblood from his wife's doomed presidential campaign, Bill Clinton's pervy, protective inner circle gets a close look from Todd Purdum in the new issue of Vanity Fair. And oh, the class: Model-schtupping moguls Steve Bing and Ron Burkle aside (the latter of whose private jet "Air Fuck One" has apparently acquired prime status among the ex-president's transportation modes), we're particularly intrigued to read about Clinton's more comely Hollywood company:

Former President Bill Clinton is 61 years old and had a quadruple-bypass in 2004, so he probably should not be partying at all hours with people like Steve Bing and secret Radar owner Ron Burkle. But, as the new Vanity Fair says, he's still globe-trotting with this pack of zillionaires with odd and scandalous lives. The story opens at a Paris wedding. Clinton is attending, along with Burkle—the supermarket magnate who helped make post-presidential Bill Clinton a wealthy man. Burkle was with a girl who another guest described as "not much older than 19, if she was that." Clinton flew in on the private jet of real-estate heir Steve Bing, whose own life of scandal is summed up thusly:

Clinton aides spent the weekend in a tizzy over Todd Purdham's Vanity Fair article "The Comeback Id," which appears in the July issue and is now online. The former Times reporter—and husband of former Clinton press secretary DeeDee Myers—had a field day with the former president, questioning his ties to rich pervs (Ron Burkle, Jeffrey Epstein, Steve Bing), murky financial dealings, health issues, and—best of all—addressing the reports of frequent infidelity in recent years:

Billionaire sex-perv Jeffrey Epstein enjoys sex with underage girls, that much we know. But before we all knew this, he was a very popular financier with many important and famous friends. He went to a lot of parties! He flew Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey, and Chris Tucker to Africa for some reason! We can only imagine what the on-flight entertainment was. Now he's apparently getting ready to plea guilty to all sorts of things involving prostitution, and some ladies are suing him for making them his sex slaves when they were underage, so he doesn't quite go out on the town that much. Except sometimes he does! And, to answer our own question, it's because uber-publicist Peggy Siegal is still happy to stand by her 14-year-old raping friend Jeffrey.

"Some of the most celebrity-centric, entertainment-obsessed news media outlets have added a heavy dose of political news to their lineups, taking space normally devoted to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ... The gossip-magazine editors appear to hold the cards most of the time. When President Bill Clinton submitted an essay for publication in Us, it did not pass muster with [Us editor Janice] Min. 'It was the magazine equivalent of watching C-Span,' she recalled, a slight shudder in her voice. 'I was a little mortified to do it, but we kicked it back to the president for a revise.'" [Times]

So—the years of tax returns the Clintons just released? They'll be feeding crazy news stories throughout the weekend. (Friday afternoon news dump! Good work, Clintons!) We'll try to limit ourselves to this: Bill Clinton has made millions of dollars just for being friends with Ron Burkle. Back in 2001, Burkle, the supermarket magnate who secretly owns Radar, asked his good friend Bill to do some nonsense advisory work for Burkle's private equity firm, Yucaipa Companies. How has that worked out? Well! Bill reported $12,674,668 in income from Yucaipa between 2001 and 2006. All for flying around on Burkle's private jet with cute girls. Anyway this could be a bit of trouble for Bill because of the sleazy rumors and whatnot.

Suspicious: During a pro-Hillary speech by Bill Clinton at Indiana University, the Barack Obama campaign started giving away concert tickets to Dave Matthews Band. The giveaway was the first opportunity to grab the tickets, and a line formed, partly made up of people who left the Clinton event, according to the Indianapolis Star. One student waited for more than three hours.

A selection of the images used on the popular news aggregating website The Drudge Report this morning. Draw your own conclusions, or don't. [Drudge]

Supermarket baron, secret Radar owner, extortion claimer, and broheim supreme of Bill Clinton, Ron Burkle, is getting slammed by his former mistress on a video posted to Youtube Friday. "Antiques dealer" with a shady past Chevyn McClintock-last seen claiming that Burkle can't screw-greets viewers from, she says, "The very same beach and spot where several Clinton fundraisers were held." She then goes on to say that she's gone ahead and called the Feds on Burkle and Bubba. Then she talks about hookers in a way that could get a person disappeared real quick.