When Regis and Kelly grilled Bill Evans for falsely predicting the worst snowstorm to ever hit New York City, he responded like any sane person would, by predicting another massive snowstorm. Sometimes we just want to hold these guys accountable.

Will Ferrell turns 42 today. Actress Phoebe Cates is turning 46. Playwright Tony Kushner is 53. Violinist Pinchas Zuckerman is 61. Stewart Copeland, the drummer from The Police, is turning 57. Former U.S. attorney general Dick Thornburgh is 77. Doug Herzog, the TV executive who oversees Comedy Central and Spike, turns 50. WABC weatherman Bill Evans is turning 49. Author Michael Gross is 57. Pharmaceutical mogul Michael Jaharis turns 81. François Payard is 43. 90210's AnnaLynne McCord is 22. Former teen star Corey Feldman turns 38. And Ugly Betty's Mark Indelicato celebrates his 15th birthday today.

Phoebe Cates, who made memorable appearances in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Gremlins and later settled down with Kevin Kline and opened a boutique on Madison Ave., turns 45 today. Cheerful WABC weatherman Bill Evans turns 48. Author Michael Gross is 56. Former teen star Corey Feldman is 37. Will Ferrell is 41. Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner turns 52. And pharma billionaire Michael Jaharis is 80.

Evans lets viewers know what meteorological mediocrities Mother Nature has in store for the tri-state region as the weatherman for WABC.

Why, look here! It's celebrated navigator Lindsay Lohan reading our old pal Bill Evans' meteorological disaster epic Category 7 in the pages of OK! magazine! Apparently, Lindsay thinks "the people you meet in weather are very inspiring." Uh, whatever the fuck that means! Anyway, if Linds plans hasn't finished the book yet, she might want to bring it along for her upcoming seven-minute jail stint. We hear the people that you meet in prison are very inspiring as well!

Last week's deluge could not have come at a better time for WABC's avuncular weather hottie Bill Evans. As you'll recall, Bill's new novel, Category 7, imagines the effects that a hurricane might have if it hit New York City. And make no mistake: A hurricane WILL hit New York City! And soon! Probably right after Labor Day! Last week was just foreshadowing. But how will it play out? Evans put together a promotional video that is so adorably amateur—and frightening—that we had to share it with you. Batten down the hatches, people: It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.