Political retirements, like celebrity deaths, always come in threes. Senators Chris Dodd (D-CT) and Byron Dorgan (D-ND) won't run for reelection, which puts the Senate's supercaliveryfragileistic majority in jeopardy, because Dorgan's state is red. Colorado Gov. Bill Ritter makes three.

• Yesterday, Broadway actress Pia Glenn slammed Salman Rushdie, saying her ex-boyfriend was "dysfunctional" and was still obsessed with his ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. Today, it's Rushdie's turn to hit back. Not has he "long ago turned the page and moved on" from Lakshmi, he says, he would also like you to know that Glenn is "a large, radioactive bucket of stress," "an accomplished liar," and also happens to be "broke and unemployed." So we're guessing a reconciliation is totally out of the question here? [P6]
• Expect to see an angry video by Tricia Walsh-Smith posted to YouTube any minute now. A state appeals court rejected the rage-filled divorcée's motion to undo her pre-nup to theater mogul Philip Smith yesterday. [P6]
• A California teenager has been charged with burglarizing Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes and making off with $170,000. [People, NYDN]
• Is Ali Wise's PR career over now that four women have accused her of voicemail hacking? That's what the Post suggests today, with a source telling the paper that "Wise is now radioactive in the industry." Then again, if there's anything we can learn from Lizzie Grubman's not-so-pretty past, it's that people who work in PR tend to be a very forgiving bunch. [NYP]

These Anchorman moments are an epidemic. WABC 7's Bill Ritter got his tongue tied up on Tuesday night's broadcast calling Bernie Kerik a "former New York City top cock." Check out the video.

A recap of the last few days in benefits and parties—including the Frick Collection's Young Fellows Ball, above—is after the jump.

Erykah Badu turns 38 today. Billionaire philanthropist and political powerbroker Ron Lauder is 65. Right-wing commentator Bob Novak is turning 78. Town & Country editor-in-chief Pamela Fiori is 65. WABC anchorman Bill Ritter is 59. Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is 51. Stylist Mark Garrison is 58. Ally Hilfiger, the "designer" and daughter of Tommy, is turning 24. And Michael Bolton turns 56 today.

Ritter delivers the grim, the banal, and the inane as the anchor of WABC's 6 p.m. and 11 p.m. broadcasts along with Liz Cho.