Google was awarded the bizarrely conceived "Captain Hook award for biopiracy" this week for its supposed plans to build a genomic search engine, says ZDNet. Never mind that Google's alleged collaborators, the gene researchers at J. Craig Venter, deny any long-term plans with Google. And forget that a vast online database of individuals' genomes won't be possible for decades. They could be stealing our precious bodily fluids. Draining our essence. Fluorinating our water.