Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal heard somewhere that all the cool politicians were releasing their birth certificates. So he released his! Tell us, Governor Jindal: If Barack Obama and Donald Trump jumped off a bridge, would you jump off too? Huh?

Pretend presidential candidate Donald Trump released his "birth certificate" yesterday, and by the end of the day, it was proven to be a fake.

Pretend presidential candidate Donald Trump released his "birth certificate" to wingnut rag Newsmax today to prove that he's an American citizen, unlike Barack Obama. That was nice of him. But where's the real birth certificate? Because this... this thing, this piece of paper with bullshit scribbled all over it, is simply not a birth certificate. Just look at it. This is definitely not a legitimate birth certificate. If it were real, it would be real. Where's the birth certificate, Trump?

As any good drug mule/terrorist knows, Puerto Rican birth certificates are perfect for obtaining fraudulent U.S. passports. What's the government solution? Render all Puerto Ricans retroactively nonexistent by invalidating all birth certificates on July 1, 2010. This will go well.