Today would be Elvis' 75th birthday. So naturally he would want Jackie Chan to sing "Fools Rush In" while promoting The Wacky Tuxedo 3 (working title) on Ellen. We wanted this to be bad. We really did. But it isn't.

David Bowie turns 63 today. Fashion designer Carolina Herrera is turning 71. Everyone's favorite British theoretical physicist, Stephen Hawking, is 68. Robert Kelly (or R. Kelly to you and me) is turning 43. Sean Paul is 37. Baseball players Jason Giambi and Carl Pavano are 39 and 34, respectively. Actress Sarah Polley is 31. Wolfgang Puck is turning 61. DJ Clue is 35. Susan Berresford turns 67. Composer David Lang is 53. And legendary game show host Bob Eubanks turns 72 today. A few weekend birthdays are below.

Oh you know what Donald Trump's kid Eric would probably like on his 26th birthday cake? A big AK-47 and some dead bird. THINK PIECE: what is it with celebukids and their cakes? (Hint: 'Drug affordability'). [Cityfile. Pic via]

Yesterday was Eric Trump's 26th birthday. And this is the cake that was presented to him at his birthday party last night. Seriously. Why does it feature a machine gun—a Soviet-made AK-47, no less—and what appears to be a bloody, dead bird? We have no idea. (But if Jared Kushner ever finds himself tempted to cheat on Eric's big sister, it should serve as a handy reminder why that may not be such a hot idea.) Another photo of the cake is below.

Katie Couric turns 53 today. Nic Cage is turning 46. Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner is 64. CSI: Miami star David Caruso is turning 54. Professional golfer (and former Celebrity Apprentice contestant) Natalie Gulbis is 27. Singer Kenny Loggins is turning 62. And Dustin Diamond, the man who so memorably played Screech on the TV show Saved by the Bell, celebrates his 33rd birthday today.

Julie Chen, co-anchor of the CBS Early Show and the wife of CBS honcho Les Moonves turns 40 today. Henry Kravis, the billionaire financier and co-founder of the private equity giant KKR, is turning 66. Film director John Singleton is 42. British food writer/TV personality Nigella Lawson is 50. Novelist E.L. Doctorow turns 79. Trudie Styler, Sting's wife, is turning 56. Former volleyball great Gabrielle Reece is 40. Rowan Atkinson (aka "Mr. Bean") turns 55. Actress Joey Lauren Adams turns 42. George Ross, Donald Trump's sidekick on The Apprentice, is 82. And reality star Tiffany Pollard, best known as "New York" to regular VH1 viewers, is turning 28 today.

Actor Bradley Cooper turns 35 today. January Jones of Mad Men is turning 32. Charlie Rose is 68. Diane Keaton is turning 64. Actor Robert Duvall is 79. Publishing heiress Amanda Hearst is 26. Marilyn Manson is turning 41. Former Vice President Walter Mondale is 82. Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell turns 66 today. King Carlos of Spain is turning 72. Fashion reporter Steven Cojocaru is 45. Carrie Ann Inaba, the judge from Dancing with the Stars, is turning 42. The Hills' Kristin Cavallari is 23. And former Love Boat actor Ted Lange celebrates his 62nd birthday today.

Michael Stipe turns 50 today. Actress Julia Ormond is turning 45. Comedian/satirist Andy Borowitz is 52. Director Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo) turns 37. Presidential historian and author Doris Kearns Goodwin is turning 67. Comic actor Dave Foley (NewsRadio) is turning 47. And retired football coach Don Shula is 80 today.

Diane von Furstenberg's spent the past week on the slopes in Aspen; today she'll celebrate her 63rd birthday. Other people turning a year older on New Year's Eve: Val Kilmer is turning 50. Bebe Neuwirth is 51. Anthony Hopkins turns 73. Ben Kingsley is turning 66. Donald Trump Jr. is 32. Famed attorney Joe Flom is 86. Real estate developer Ed Minskoff is 69. Author Nicholas Sparks turns 44. Donna Summers is 61. Gong Li is turning 44. And New Kids on the Block alum Joey McIntyre is 37 as of today. A bunch of people celebrating tomorrow below.

Meredith Vieira and Matt Lauer share more than a studio at Rockefeller Center—they're both celebrating their birthdays today, too. (She's turning 56; he's 52.) Embattled nightlife entrepreneur Amy Sacco is 42. Fox News' Sean Hannity is turning 48. LeBron James is 25. Allen Grubman, the mega entertainment lawyer and father of Lizzie, turns 67 today. Patti Smith is 63. Comedian Tracey Ullman is 50. WCBS reporter Marcia Kramer is turning 61. Movie director Bennett Miller is 43. Norman Goodman, the city's county clerk and the man responsible for sending you those jury summonses on a regular basis, is 86. Actress Eliza Dushku is turning 29. R&B singer Tyrese is 31. Former madam Heidi Fleiss is turning 44. And a golfer by the name of Tiger Woods is celebrating his 34th birthday today.

Yesterday was Sienna Miller's birthday, and now it's Jude Law's turn: The actor, playboy, and NYU foe turns 37 today. Actress Mary Tyler Moore is turning 73. Ted Danson is 62. Paramount chief Brad Grey is 52. Actress Patricia Clarkson is 50. Matrix director/writer Andy Wachowski is 42. Cable news staple Ashleigh Banfield is also turning 42. Real estate marketer Michael Shvo is turning 37. Writer Paul Rudnick turns 52. Mekhi Phifer is 35. Singer Marianne Faithfull is 63. And actor (and father of Angelina) Jon Voight turns 71 today.

Sienna Miller turns 28 today. Denzel Washington is turning 55. John Legend is 31. Gayle King turns 55. Saturday Night Live's Seth Meyers is turning 36. Judge Alvin Hellerstein is 76. Media tycoon Phil Anschutz is 70. Former AOL exec turned new media investor Bob Pittman is turning 56. Artist Robert Storr is 60. South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson is turning 63. And American Idol runner-up David Archuleta is 19 today.

Kate Spade turns 47 today. Hedge fund manager Jim Chanos is turning 52. Former Observer owner Arthur Carter is 78. Jonathan Benno, Per Se's outgoing chef who will soon be opening a restaurant of his own, is 40. Annette de la Renta, the wife of Oscar de la Renta and a charity gala fixture, is turning 70. Ryan Seacrest turns 35. Ricky Martin is celebrating his 38th. Author Mary Higgins Clark is turning 82. Heiress Marylou Whitney is 84. And actor Mekhi Phifer is 35. A few people with Christmas birthdays are listed below.

France's first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, turns 42 today. Les Moonves, CBS's CEO, is turning 61. Badgley Mischka designer James Mischka is 49. Soap star Susan Lucci is 63. Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder is turning 45. Retired Army General (and onetime presidential aspirant) Wesley Clark turns 65 today. Conservative columnist Bill Kristol is 57. Author Donna Tartt is 46. NHL star Scott Gomez is turning 30. Model Estella Warren turns 31. '80s idol Corey Haim is 38. And Holly Madison, best known as the former girlfriend of Hugh Hefner and co-star of Girls Next Door, is downright ancient (by Playboy standards, at least) as she turns 30 today.

It's a big week for Diane Sawyer. Last night she made her debut on ABC's World News, and today just happens to be her 64th birthday. Others celebrating today: Ralph Fiennes turns 47. Ali Lohan, Lindsay's kid sister, is turning 16. Theater producer Daryl Roth is 65. Vanessa Paradis, the French singer/actress and Johnny Depp's significant other, turns 37. Neocon/Bush crony Paul Wolfowitz is 66. Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees turns 60. And Jordin Sparks, the winner of the sixth season of American Idol, is 19 today.

Samuel L. Jackson turns 62 today. Kiefer Sutherland is turning 43. DreamWorks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg is 59. Ray Romano is turning 52. Andy Dick is celebrating his 44th. Jane Fonda is turning 72. Former talk show host Phil Donahue is 74. French actress Julie Delpy is 40. Jane Kaczmarek of Malcolm in the Middle turns 54. Former Mets pitcher Roger McDowell turns 48. Holly Peterson, the socialite and author of The Manny, is turning 45. And retired tennis champ Chris Evert turns 55 today.

Katie Holmes, actress and Bride of Scientology, turns 31 today. Hard-charging hedge fund manager Dan Loeb is turning 48. Brad Pitt turns 46. Steven Spielberg is turning 63. Christina Aguilera is celebrating her 29th birthday today. Dan Klores, the publicist turned documentary filmmaker, is marking his 60th. The head of the American Federation of Teachers, Randi Weingarten, is 52. Memorial Sloan-Kettering president (and Nobel Prize winner) Harold Varmus is turning 70. Troubled rapper DMX is 39. Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones is 66. Ray Liotta is turning 55. Model agency owner Faith Kates is 52. And former Miss USA Tara Conner is turning 24 today. A bunch of weekend birthdays is below.

Model/actress/designer Milla Jovovich turns 34 today. Hardball host Chris Matthews is turning 64. Penthouse founder Bob Guccione is 79. Director Peter Farrelly (There's Something About Mary, Dumb and Dumber) turns 53. Pete Briger, the president of Fortress Investment Group, is 46. Actor Giovanni Ribisi is turning 35. R.E.M. bassist Mike Mills is turning 51. Actor Bill Pullman is 56. Ultimate fighting champion Chuck Liddell is 40. And actor Eugene Levy turns 63 today.

Judi Giuliani, former mayor Rudy Giuliani's third wife and the woman he started dating when he was still married to his second, is turning 55 today. Actor Benjamin Bratt turns 46. 60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl is 68. TV producer/writer Steven Bochco (LA Law, NYPD Blue) is turning 66. Movie director James Mangold (Girl, Interrupted, Walk the Line) is 46. Fallen hip hop producer Scott Storch is turning 36. Rhode Island Governor Donald Carcieri is 42. And Michael Lohan Jr., the brother of Lindsay and son of Michael and Dina, turns 22 today.

Julie Taymor, the Tony-winning theater and film director, turns 57 today. Adam Brody, the actor and former star of The O.C. is turning 30. Don Johnson is 60. Stuart Townsend, the actor better known as Charlize Theron's boyfriend, turns 37. Virginia Senator Mark Warner is turning 55. Comedian Tim Conway is 76. And Andrew Luster, the Max Factor heir and convicted rapist, will mark his 46th birthday behind bars today.