Pretend presidential candidate Donald Trump released his "birth certificate" to wingnut rag Newsmax today to prove that he's an American citizen, unlike Barack Obama. That was nice of him. But where's the real birth certificate? Because this... this thing, this piece of paper with bullshit scribbled all over it, is simply not a birth certificate. Just look at it. This is definitely not a legitimate birth certificate. If it were real, it would be real. Where's the birth certificate, Trump?

Donald Trump went on The View this morning to spread his birther nonsense and talk about potentially running for president in 2012. When Barbara Walters pushed for an answer of whether or not he could win he says, "I definitely think I could beat Obama." Really, Donald? Really?

Donald Trump is still a couple of months from his self-imposed deadline — during sweeps week — on making a presidential candidacy decision. So let's keep humoring him! Today, he pretended to be a birther.

Crucial point to make about Mike Huckabee: He's nuts. A nice guy, sure. But nuts! He has no idea what he's saying at any given point. Only a matter of days ago he was telling the Birther crowd to shut up about Barack Obama's birth certificate, describing it as "nonsense." But then he goes and rambles about Barack Obama's childhood in Kenya! What is even happening with this man?

Hawaii's new governor Neil Abercrombie — the same man who "found" Barack Obama's birth certificate and openly mocks birthers — signed into law a bill yesterday that legalizes civil unions for same-sex couples. According to CNN, Abercrombie said during the ceremony:

Public Policy Polling finds that 51 percent of Republican primary voters nationwide think President Obama wasn't born in the United States. Maybe some just responded that way for fun. But 51 percent is... a lot of percent.

One of the fundamental freedoms guaranteed to us in the constitution is the freedom to think whatever the hell we want, about anything. It's constantly under attack, from teachers, and schools, and so-called "facts," but at least one politician still believes in it:

Imagine: Your very own, handsomely embossed official Barack Obama birth certificate. It could soon be yours!! A bill introduced in the Hawaii state legislature would allow anyone to get a copy of the president's Hawaii birth records for just $100.

New Hawaii Gov. Neil Abercrombie vowed to settle the question of Barack Obama's birth certificate last month, and his "investigation" has found that yes, a recording of Obama's birth "exists in the archives, written down." The conspiracy theorists remain skeptical!

Someone in the House gallery during today's Ritual Reading of the Constitution shouted "Except Obama!" and "Help us Jesus!" when they got to the presidential eligibility requirements. Michele Bachmann was briefly worried that the world could hear her thoughts.

Look: MSNBC's Chris Matthews is not a birther, okay? That said... he still wants to know why Barack Obama hasn't shown whatever super-secret copy of his birth certificate. Where is it, Obama? But again: Chris Matthews is not a birther.

Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin, the Army doctor who refused to deploy to Afghanistan over doubts that commander-in-chief Barack Obama was born in the United States, was sentenced to six months in military prison today. Martyr! But no, not really.

Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin, an Army doctor, pleaded guilty in military court yesterday on one of two charges relating to his refusal to deploy to Afghanistan, based on his doubts that President Obama was born in the United States.

In an attempt to construct a witty cover, Newsweek seems to claim that Obama isn't president. Jonathan Alter's article explores and debunks the network of conspiracy theories surrounding the president. But the cover lines' kind of affirm one myth. D'oh.

Alleged President Obama sat down with 30 Rock cast member Brian Williams on Sunday to talk about some... French city? Or something? Who even knows?? Because the important part is that Obama once again rejected the demands of millions of reasonable Americans, who are just naturally suspicious of this black fellow claiming to be president. See, Obama told Williams that he "can't spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead." Oh, and why is that, "Mister" "President"? Most likely because you can't plaster something to your forehead... if it doesn't exist.

The Supreme Court says birther queen and ever-aspiring politico Orly Taitz does in fact have to pay a $20,000 fine for her "frivolous" litigation about how Barack Obama is an illegal alien, etc. This will undoubtedly change nothing. [Pic]

Defeated birther Orly Taitz now wants to challenge Sen. Dianne Feinstein, saying, "[Feinstein] used to be an attorney, married to a surgeon. I am an attorney and I am also a dental surgeon." How could she not run, knowing this?

Terrible possible news for the California Republican party: the most famous and eccentric birther in America, Orly Taitz, could win her GOP primary tomorrow for California secretary of state—a high-ranking position that involves certifying election results!

We've missed the Birthers. They put the "crazy" in "Democrazy". Without them, we've had to confront the actually scary lunacy of the gun nuts and the Tea Party. But now birthers back with new wacky schemes and characters. Woooo!

Hey, there's a Tea Party going on in Washington DC right now. Old white people are responsibly protesting socialism and also the fact that our president is Kenyan. Pic via Dave Weigel. (One more from Ana Marie Cox!)