Fergalicious fergity-ferg Fergie gave birth to her first child with husband Josh Duhamel on Thursday: a healthy baby boy. And when Fergie looked down at the tiny new life she had brought into the world—the perfect, squirming human who would, from now until forever, fill her days with joy and anxiety and excitement and fear and pride and peace and warmth, most of all warmth, simply by being alive—she thought "This baby reminds me of car parts!" and named him Axl Jack Duhamel.

In February, the threat of HISTORIC, EXTREME SNOW whipped Weather.com into such a frothy euphoria that it combusted from within, vomiting broken mountain graphics all over its homepage. Now, the unbearable ecstasy of the final days of Kate Middleton’s pregnancy has driven E! Online—the relentlessly chipper, unnervingly dedicated sophomore class secretary of celebrity news—to the brink of insanity.

Collect call for Nick Lachey from a Miss Jessica Weaddababi-Eitzaboi.

Rumors continue to swirl that Gisele Bündchen has spent the last nine months in a state of utter pregnancy after the supermodel posted a Facebook update revealing she gave birth on Wednesday.

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo had a son, Camden, on Wednesday. May he grow up to marry Maxwell Simpson-Johnson on TV.

After 37 months of pregnancy, America's most fashionable country bumpkin Jessica Simpson has given life to a baby girl. Welcome to the world, Maxwell Drew Johnson. Countless farts and pairs of Spanx preceded your arrival.

A hearty mazel tov to well-known penis photographer Anthony Weiner and his way-out-of-his-league wife, State Department attaché Huma Abedin, who gave birth yesterday to a boy. Jordan Zane Weiner clocked in at seven pounds and was born ten days early, giving him a head start on his journey to The Most Awkward Father-Son Conversation of All Time. [NYP, image via AP]

Joe McGinniss, the journalist who briefly lived next door to the Palins, reports that Track Palin's wife Britta Hanson has given birth to her child, a girl named Kyla Grace Palin. As predicted, the birth was a bit earlier than abstinence advocates may have expected—three months after the Track and Britta's well-publicized wedding, and a couple weeks shy of the due date on Britta's rumored baby registry. [JoeMcGinniss]

The Summer of Babies continues! Today Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner said howdy to their brand-new daughter. No name yet (maybe Donaldeena?). Obvs Ivanka's the ultimate glamour-mom, but will Jared make a dutiful dad? Hmmm. [Image via AP]

Glitter star Mariah Carey gave birth to twins—a girl and a boy—on Saturday, her fourth wedding anniversary with her husband, the guy from All That. Neither child has yet been named. Like most expecting parents, the couple drove to the hospital in their Rolls-Royce Phantom; according to Carey's publicist Cindi Berger, Cannon "was so nervous he went to the wrong department at the hospital." Carey is apparently "done" with having children. [AP]

In these war- and disaster-ravaged times, the world can feel like a grim, deathly place. So it is good to see that yes, in fact, life goes on. Babies are made and will someday be born. Babies like the one Kevin Federline, former dancer and Britney Spears romancer, is expecting with his girlfriend, former volleyball player Victoria Prince. Nature finds a way, guys. It really does. [Photo via Getty]

Musician Elton John and husband David Furnish are now the parents of Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John, born to a surrogate. They should have named it "Jet," and then had another kid named "Jet," and called themselves, "Elton and the Jets."

A new father in Pennsylvania lit a joint in the local hospital's smoking section to celebrate his child's birth. He told security, "I'm having a baby and wanted to get a buzz," which seems reasonable, if not responsible. [via LehemSteel]

Though she's still not talking about who the (cough, Adam Dell, cough) father is, Padma Lakshmi gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday. She has the lovely Indian name Krishna. Get ready for a Top Chef baby food challenge!

The baby boy that just emerged from the womb of Gisele Bundchen isn't the only lucky little tot today. Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich and his girlfriend, globe-trotting fashion/art princess Dasha Zhukova, had a son in LA late last week. Welcome to the world, Aaron Alexander Abramovich. And remember to child-proof your missile defense system, Roman. [Fashionologie]

• Heidi Klum and Seal have a new addition to the family: Lou Sulola, who was born on Friday night and joins siblings Johan, Henry, and Leni. [People]
• Tyra Banks ought to be in a good mood today. Not only has she dropped four dress sizes recently, she's been named the "top-earning primetime TV star" by Forbes thanks to the $30 million she's collected over the past year. [Daily Mail, MSNBC]
• The latest legal tiff between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook is over: The couple has settled their dispute, which means neither of them will be heading off to jail. [People]
• Was Penelope Cruz sporting a giant sapphire and diamond ring the other night because she really is engaged to Javier Bardem? And did she wear a bulky sweater over her dress because she's pregnant? So many questions, so few answers. Sigh. [P6, NYDN]

CBS' lovable curmudgeon Andy Rooney became a great-grandfather when his grandson, Fox News producer Justin Fishel, and his wife birthed twins recently. We look forward to hearing Andy bitch about all of this is a future 60 Minutes segment. [TVNewser]

• Following conflicting news reports, it now appears that Natasha Richardson was pronounced brain dead sometime yesterday following her skiing accident in Canada on Monday. She's now reported to be at Lenox Hill on the Upper East Side, where her family members have gathered to hold a vigil and say goodbye. [NYP, People, NYT]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown might be "taking a break," although neither one says it's a "formal breakup," whatever that means. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan's driver crashed her SUV into a wall outside the Mondrian Hotel in Los Angeles at 3:30 am Tuesday morning. [E!]
• Graydon Carter has already started inviting friends to visit Monkey Bar, the restaurant he's opening on East 54th Street. [P6]
• Just what the world needs: Justin Timberlake recently returned from Mexico, where he's been working on launching his own brand of tequila. [P6]

• Hope you're sitting down for this one. Donald Trump Jr. and his wife Vanessa had a baby yesterday. It was a boy. And he will now bear a burden for the rest of his life: His parents named him Donald J. Trump III. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan is launching a self-tanning line called Stay Gold. Finally! [NYDN]
• "Real Housewife" Bethenny Frankel was spotted using coupons at a hair salon. [P6]
• After dating for about half a century, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart may finally be ready to get hitched. [Cindy Adams]
• Please note that Walter Cronkite is not related to social/art scenester Kipton Cronkite, despite his claims to the contrary. [P6]

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick may seem really happy and content with life, but it's just a carefully-constructed façade that is now crumbling to pieces because Broderick can't stop himself from cheating. Or at least that's what the Star is claiming after it caught sight of SJP socializing with a real estate broker, something you wouldn't even think of doing unless you were planning to leave your husband and move out on your own, right? [Star]
• Peter Cook has filed charges against Christie Brinkley for refusing to hand over son Jack's passport so the two can go on a school trip to Egypt. [P6, OK!]
• Disgraced Lehman CEO Dick Fuld and his wife Kathy needed help using JetBlue's check-in kiosk in Palm Beach, poor things. [P6]
• Paris Hilton says she's not a slut because she's only had sex with "a couple of men," which, by that standard, means you're still a virgin. [The Sun]