births

Gwyneth Paltrow WombWatch: Water Birth Edition

mark · 01/03/06 12:07PM

Given that onetime hard-working actress Gwyneth Paltrow's baby-hampered theatrical output in 2005 was limited to Proof, one of the little movie darlings the Weinsteins quietly suffocated with a pillow before leaving Miramax for their own company, the only news coming out of Camp Paltrow involved either political musings or semi-veiled public threats of violence against those who might dare to shoot photography-retardant daughter Apple. Still, our appetite for Gwynnie-related news is undiminished, and so the desperate celebrity-obsessed press temporarily sates us by shoveling this tidbit about potential Paltrow birthing practices into our gaping maw:

'Us Weekly' Develops Magical Powers

Jesse · 12/02/05 11:20AM

No wonder Us Weekly was first with news of the Bennifer Garfleck baby. Apparently the constant pressure for celeb scoops has forced Janice Min's staff to develop clairvoyance.

Bennifer Garfleck Have Boring Baby

Jessica · 12/02/05 08:30AM

Yeah, we know, the Starbucks-endorsed Hollywood couple of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner had their baby girl yesterday. We just didn't care, really: a new life born into the pantheon of celebrity offspring? Bah. They had to induce labor — yawn!