The Appalachian Trail seems like America’s Bermuda Triangle. It’s where horny politicians conveniently go missing. It’s the 2,200 miles of wilderness my boyfriends decide to go when things start to get serious. And for a Kentucky man who left his family and wanted to avoid a near $9 million embezzlement case, it’s a great place to relax for six years, New York Daily News reports.

How much would you pay for a sauce if you happened to be eating a sandwich without sauce? $65? $10,000? An infinite number of dollars and promises and begs? What if the sauce was 20 years old? How much would you pay to taste the sauce of glories past?