Now Stephen Hawking says black holes don't exist. No fucking idea.

In an absurd twist to everything you know and love, physicists tackling what sounds like a question for the chronically stoned—"What if the entire universe is just one big hologram?"—have come to a tenuous conclusion that, yeah, that might actually be the case.

Scientists have finally figured out what black holes shoot out in their superfast particle jets. It's just a bunch of elements, is all. No aliens or people from other dimensions at all. Huh.

Some of the world's greatest scientific minds are feverishly arguing over what would happen if you jumped into a black hole. All they can agree on: don't jump into a black hole.

In terms of "coolest ways to die," it's hard to beat "sucked into a black hole." The question's just: what would that entail, exactly? No one has first-hand experience. Would you spend weeks floating past its event horizon, before eventually being ripped apart? Or would you—as string theorist Joseph Polchinski recently proposed—soar into a "seething maelstrom of particles... hit a wall of fire and be burned to a crisp in an instant"?

Something strange is going on in the NASA publicity department. The agency's latest press release marks a stark divergence in tone from the kind of content they're usually serving up.

Mercury planet! Rat memories! Gray hair! Cosmic blast! Killer lipids! Mind engagement! Cuban seas! Model blimps! And the real reason that women be squeakin! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—salaciously!

European scientists are still trying to destroy the Earth with the Large Hadron Collider Doomsday Machine, this time by creating a "mini Big Bang" that shot reactor temperatures up "a million times hotter" than the Sun's core. We're so screwed.

Today, in science stuff you already knew from that time you took acid: Our universe could exist inside a black hole that itself is in another universe altogether. Also: What if we're all just, like, God's dream? [New Scientist via]

Seinfeld was a revolutionary sitcom, so its reunion had to be equally brilliant. As witnessed on Curb Your Enthusiasm, the non-reunion reunion about the making of a reunion on a different show will make blood pour out of your ears.

Digg, the raucous online news-rating site, has laid off 8 people from its 75-person workforce. CEO Jay Adelson writes that the company will "aggressively focus on reaching profitability within the year." There's no way.

Perhaps Digg really is the future of the news business. The headline-discussion site, once an icon of the Web 2.0 movement, is losing millions of dollars a year.

A while ago, not long after after Barack Obama won the Iowa caucus, NPR put forth a story asking, "Is America Post-Racial?" "Probably not," we thought to ourselves, "otherwise America's premiere sketch comedy show would actually have this famously black presidential candidate played by, y'know, a black guy and not Fred Armisen." Now, Saturday Night Live has reminded us of that musing once again, because TV Guide reports that instead of adding a black actress to its troupe to play Michelle Obama, the show would rather entice former cast member Maya Rudolph to return. An excerpt, with new details from Lorne Michaels on whether Tina Fey will play Sarah Palin, is after the jump: