It's basically the Devil Wears Prada, but with less insight and more drug smuggling.

This music man missed the birth of his baby because he was getting naughty with a nurse. This director has a feud within the cast and this couple is really serving as beards for each other. What, there's no staff involved?

She had a meeting in the lady's room—with some crank. This celeb uses his son to score his mountains of coke, and this reality star has a gay husband. He's not on drugs though, which is nice.

Seems like even some of the castaways were confused by the ending. A male reality star paid to have his famous date enjoy some girl-on-girl action in public and a celebrity spawn is trying heroin. This is a gossip flash-sideways.

Which Oscar nominee actor has gone completely off reservation? He's not returning his publicist, agent or manager's calls. He's refusing to do media appearances. There are fears he may bail on the ceremony tonight. "Last I heard," said one friend, "he was holed up in his room with some model."

Which epic movie director specializes in fucking make-up artists in his trailer on set? "He leaves the windows open so everyone can hear him," said one colleague. "It's the most macho bullshit." The stunt backfired on a recent movie set because his squeeze was married.

Which A-list actress has a habit of politely excusing herself for cocaine binges between interviews at press junkets? The actress, with lustrous blonde hair extensions, indulged so much at one recent event, the rest of the day had to be canceled because her extensions were falling out and her nose was bloody.

Kate Hudson and A-Rod are still having sex all the time because they like it. New Yorkers agree that this is better than your mythical magic underpants. [Us Weekly]

Christmas came early! Someone sent us a scandalous, original blind item just now. And, of course, we'd like to share it with you. After the jump read a tale of gossip and infidelity.

Blind items are the gossip world's equivalent of the mathematical puzzles that keep engineers entertained. Try your hand! They're easier than a Rubik's Cube. CNET News reporter Caroline McCarthy has posed the following one:

Which well-known gay literary agent (and popular sperm donor to the ladies who need some) is famous in some circles for posting solicitations for his own "sperm donors" (and skiiers!) via Craigslist?

Nude supermodel photo scandal lawsuit alert! An anonymous model has filed suit in Miami against Egotastic.com and Splash photo agency for taking pictures of her sunbathing in her birthday suit (NAKED) in her own backyard—"as is often done by professional models to avoid tan lines." Invasion of privacy and emotional distress! But who is this mysterious, super-beautiful plaintiff? She helpfully includes several clues [UPDATE: the case may already be cracked!]:

Hah. He's 40 (40-year-old blogger! sad!), 5'11", and "went to one of those selective East Coast schools." Always important when looking for anonymous tail in a strange town! Guesses? We honestly don't even want to hazard one. (If Doree's list is representative, Craigslist Denver seems to be crawling with dudes looking to "pleasure" those hot lady Obama voters.) [Craigslist via NYO]

"Rush & Molloy" today ask: "What publisher and man-about-town may have had a liaison with Rielle Hunter, the woman who had an affair with John Edwards and a relationship with his pal Jay McInerney? He's told friends they were 'in bed for a week.'" That's a liaison? We call it a hangover (or a stay-cation!), but let's not split hairs. Who is it? Nick Denton? John Peter Zenger? Is Men's Health publisher Jack Essig a man-about-town? Actually how great would it be if it was Jared Kushner! In bed with a week with the acid-damaged Donna Rice. He's probably not her type, though. Former presidential candidate Steve Forbes would be a similarly amusing choice. Maybe it's Bob Guccione, Jr? After Ann Coulter and Candace Bushnell, we know he likes insane blondes. And they've got to make Rielle look low-maintenance, right? Wait, shit, it's Felix Dennis, isn't it?

An eagle-eyed, Craigslist-scavenging informant today points us to a compelling career opportunity for the ambitious dreamer in you: A "high-ranking staffer on a hit dance reality show" is in dire need of a new assistant after the last one apparently agreed to assist him (or her, we suppose) full-time in bed:

Hey, which puppy-pic-loving novelist and newly minted blogger/defender of the Internet called a former Gawker mascot a "pussy" multiple times in response to a request for an interview?

We've got several gay dudes today, one very generous actor, and thankfully no rape. Seriously though, there is probably at least one "which actor is gayyyyyy" blind item every day. Is Hollywood that homo, or are we just talking about the same few actors all the time? Decide for yourselves after the jump.

It's so very hot. And sticky. And gross. Please don't make me type more than a few words about today's blind items. A lesbian pop star, a gay actor, a four-way casting couch, a cheating politician, and more are waiting for you after the jump. Enjoy. Please also leave donations for the Buy Richard an Air Conditioner Fund.

One of the juicier blind items off the transom lately involves an A-list actress, a bold-faced female mag editor, and unkempt pubic hair. Asks the NY Daily News, "Which female A-lister's Sapphic relationship with a top editrix came to a crashing halt when the wordsmith saw her 'wildly' unkempt nether regions?" While memories of former Jane editor-in-chief Jane Pratt's claims that she dabbled in the Land of Lesbianism with Drew Barrymore delightfully resurface in our minds, Pratt is now a full-time radio chick. Recently departed Interview EIC Ingrid Sischy (not so delightfully) is another possibility, but somehow we can't see her gasping at the sight of an imperfect wax, considering her signature Bob Dylan-esque 'do. We leave it up to you, our faithful readers, to out the thwarted thespian in need of a pronto Brazilian in the comments. [NYDN]

"WHICH legendary american tv producer of late night comedy is been constantly seen walking back and forth at St Barth's Saline gay beach right around sundown?" Sic, sic, etc.