So! John Mayer's on a roll these days. The Celebrity-Industrial Complex investigative blogger and expert on date-rapey sounding quotes is now suggesting to his minions that they embark on a one-week digital cleanse. And we're here to help.

The sad state of bloggers and Long Island reporters is well-documented. But things are hard out there for TV reporters, too. Covering a flood for CBS News, Hari Sreenivasan nearly got hypothermia after his waders sprung a leak. But who wouldn't sacrifice a leg or two for that shot of a guy knee-deep in water? Fortunately, March Madness ramped up, America lost interest in natural disasters in the fly-by states, and Sreenivasan was mercifully allowed to return to dry land. [CBS News]

That's what my ex-co-worker and friend Andrew Belonsky, editor of Queerty, says about our jobs. And indeed it is! I, for one, have guests over to my palatial apartment all the time. Just last night, Andrew came over, and I offered him his choice of dried craisins, organic macaroni and cheese or Georgi Vodka. Guess which he chose? After a few rounds of blogger party game favorite "guess that google image," we stepped out into my hallway so Andrew could smoke a cigarette. Another indication of how glamorous my life is: we smoke cigarettes. In hallways! Like millionaires! I live in the top floor of a four story walk-up. On the stairwell leading up to the roof there are cigarette butts, the insides of cheap cigars and the odd magnum condom wrapper. Of course, I didn't tell Andrew about the last one — I didn't want to make him too jealous of my glamorous lifestyle.