Web domain name giant GoDaddy is reportedly in talks to be bought out for more than $2 billion. Who knows what kind of exploits GoDaddy's ridiculous elephant-killing CEO, Bob Parsons, will get up to with that kind of dough. He'll probably fly to a remote island and hunt the world's most dangerous game: tech bloggers. Honestly, we're terrified.

Domain registrar Namecheap.com raised $20,000 for elephant preservation by switching over customers from GoDaddy, whose CEO posted a graphic video of himself killing an elephant in Zimbabwe. Clever marketing. GoDaddy marketing, meanwhile, is expected to remain largely breast focused.

What kind of a guy goes on a safari in Zimbabwe to shoot "problem elephants," then makes a graphic video about it, set to a dramatic Animal Planet-style soundtrack? Bob Parsons: former Marine, self-made millionaire, GoDaddy CEO.

If you want to buy a .tv domain name, Bob Parsons's GoDaddy registrar will sell it to you. But not without a tsk-tsk lecture about how the island of Tuvalu, which owns .tv, is sinking.