Now that tea partiers have proven that what Americans don't want is health-care coverage, we're forced to ask: What do Americans want? To be reassured God loves us and that death is no big deal. Also: To be scared shitless!

If you see someone toting a Kindle onto the subway, give them space: Judging from what owners of the e-book reader have done to author Michael Lewis, they can be some seriously mean and vengeful nerds.

The Association of American Publishers just released their January sales figures and, predictably, fewer people want books. Adult hardcovers were hit pretty hard, dropping 8.1% from '09. Also drastically down were YA fiction hardcovers and paperbacks. No new Twilight? [Galleycat]

It's time for more excerpts from 2010's most backstabbing tell-all book, The Best of Friends [sarcasm!]: Martha and Me by Mariana Pasternak. Today: Martha's frenemy mocks Martha's calculating interactions with Anthony Hopkins, Richard Meier, and Billy Tauzin.

A tipster sent us the proposal for One Nation Under Sex, Larry Flynt's forthcoming history of White House coitus. And it's not bad! Did you know that "George Washington was a famous swordsman in more ways than one"?

The founding publisher of HarperStudio has departed, and parent company HarperCollins is expected to consider what to do next with the imprint, originally launched to experiment with new business models for publishing. Woe unto the aspiring blogger-author?

Martha Stewart's (former) friend Mariana Pasternak has just released her backstabby tell-all book The Best of Friends: Martha and Me. We have culled some of its bitchy allegations for your reading pleasure! Today: Martha drives dangerously, is insane about animals.

The hot book of the moment, Michael Lewis's Big Short, was influenced by a Harvard undergraduate's thesis. But few people know the bestselling author has followed the footsteps of someone else's college thesis before, with Moneyball.

The authors of the business book Rework noticed Karl Rove was standing between them and the number one bestseller slot on Amazon.com. So they created this awesomely fun takedown of the Republican strategist's Courage and Consequence. It's positively Rovian.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has the heart wrenching narrative of a Jane Austen novel, but the gore of slaughtering zombies. So everybody wins! And the trailer promoting the book drives home the bloodlust of the Bennett sisters. Classic Austen!

In your wicked Wednesday media column: Dan Rather apologizes for not understanding the Twitter, looming BusinessWeek layoffs, the Ellies go to the usual suspects, and Jason Mulgrew's book is here.

Gossip about a book about about gossip about books and whatnot! Lately we've said to ourselves, "What this city needs is another thinly-veiled fictionalized tale of various media types doing their dramatic NYC thing." Hello, we hear one is coming!

Scott Brown, Massachusetts Republican and former Cosmo centerfold, is working on a memoir scheduled to hit shelves in 2011. He may be stuck in Teddy Kennedy's old seat, but he'll become the male Sarah Palin, yet. [AP]

Video producer Kate Bohner has re-published her autobiographical blog, just two weeks after taking it offline amid threats from Eric Schmidt's lawyers. There's been one especially noticeable change: the character "Dr. Strangelove" is gone.

In a new book called "Little Billy's Letters," Bill Geerhart poses as a little damn kid to write prank letters to famous people and institutions, for kicks. And whattaya know: one of his targets was the Church of Scientology.

There's something inherently cool about stashing your valuables in a hollowed out book. This video shows you how to turn an old book into a secret stash spot. Trust me: it'll make you feel like a badass.

This "niche fiction meets stuffy history" trend is getting inscrutable. Seth Grahame-Smith, who introduced us to Mr. Darcy's appetite for human brains, returns with news that Abraham Lincoln juggled the Civil War with a war against pointy-toothed victims of anemia.

If you wrote a piece for the Huffington Post entitled Do You Really Need an Editor at a Publishing House?, you'd make a strong case, right? The answer, as evidenced by Knopf editor Carole Baron, is a resounding absolutely.

Remember the 2008 presidential campaign? And do you remember the hundreds of journalists who were going to write books about that campaign? Many of those books are almost done. Don't worry: there are hundreds more still in the pipeline!